Re-purposed College Thread

[Zaleramancer]

I really need someone to talk to now.

Basically.. I'm kinda stressed and panicking, and.. well.. I don't have anyone in real life that I can open up to.

You guys are the only people I have ever really.. opened up emotionally to in a long time.

I've just graduated, you know. It's time to move off to college. I should be excited or happy.. But I'm terrified.  I feel so.. inadequate. I'm not sure If I'll be good enough to survive- there's so many other people so much more dedicated than I am.

I feel like I'm just going to flop. To crash and burn..

The fact that I can look back at the way I've lived during high school and feel such.. regret.. doesn't help. I wish I'd been less shy and self conscious. If I had been braver and more reliant on myself, I could have gotten out more. Laughed more.. Had closer friends.

I just.. I just don't know what to do. I'm lost.

Any advice?

[Philote]

Are you going to be living in a Dorm or Apartment?

Don't worry so much about college, I think it is a lot easier than high school. I took five classes a semester for around 15 hours and it turned out to not be that hard. The classes are more spaced out so it gives you more time to work through the assignments and you get more free time. You're almost guaranteed to pass if you show up consistently and at least attempt the homework.

Don't worry about making new friends in College, I had sort of the same situation. I had friends in high school, but for whatever reason I never got really close to anybody and thus never got invited out to do anything. I would laugh with them during school but that was all that would ever happen. Things were a lot easier in college, since I was living in a dorm I was just a couple doors down from what became my main group of friends. I ended up hanging out in their room nearly all of the semester along with our other friends who would all just come to the room to hang out together. Since we all hanged out together we would go out to eat on the weekends and if we ever felt the urge to go do something, like going to the zoo, we could just go out and do it without much planning. If you're going to be in a dorm or something similar, my advice would be to talk to your peer adviser and try to invite your hall to all go out and eat together at the dining hall if possible. That is what happened at the beginning of my first semester and you should be able to quickly see who you will get along with since you should be grouped with people with similar tastes in your hall anyways.

I remained in contact with only one person from high school, it sucks but there is not much I could do about it, but because college is set up differently I was able to make a group of friends that I was able to do more with than I ever did in high school.

Show up to all the event stuff at the beginning of the year as well. I never stayed long at them, but you should probably at least check them out and it will let you start recognizing people more.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

I'm in the same boat and I can tell ya, the only reason I haven't freaked out about it is because I've accepted it as my new reality. It's going to happen, so there's no use in worrying about it.

My best advice is "Keep calm, don't panic, take a deep breath and step forward". It sounds cheesy, but it helps.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

The best I can suggest is that you turn that worry, that anxiety into motivation. If you think that something's due for financial aid/student loans/scholarships/graduation, or some class assignment, your first instinct is probably right; always check with your professors, counselors, advisers and fellow students and such to keep up with your academic progress. Never be afraid to branch out and at least be cordial.

It's a hard lesson I've had to learn myself, but once you get into the habit, it's not that hard, and the people I met at college are actually pretty nice.

If you're anything like me, your real problems won't be in academics (I think you're more than intelligent enough to understand what's coming), but rather your problem may be in motivation and initiative. You probably are a big procrastinator, and I'm telling you now, if you are...that's got to stop. Like, yesterday.

Not that you have to study your brains out, and burn yourself out, like some people do, but take plenty of notes. If the teacher's talking too fast for notes, bring in a recorder that has enough memory for the entire extent of the class. Try your best to sit near the front of every class you take, and any extra credit assignments they offer? Do at least one, if more than one is offered.

Oh, and if you're not in one of those big huge classes that has, like, 250 students, ask as many questions as come to your mind. Typically, if the professor is in an actual classroom-size class (rather than university size), they're more than willing to answer however many questions you have. Within reason, of course.

Also, it doesn't hurt to keep a calendar handy on your wall somewhere, for special events, academics related and otherwise college-related.

So, yeah, there's my advice. Sorry for rambling, but I hope that helps.

[Zaleramancer]

Dorm.

I have little doubts that I'll be accepted. The college is basically the cheapest and easiest to get into in the local area. A community college. For two years.

Then I'll have to pick somewhere else to go.

[Zaleramancer]

I know I can probably handle the the academics. I helped my aunt with some of her college work.

The actual procrastination is probably the worst thing.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Called it!

But, yeah, overall, it's not that big a deal, really. Just keep up with due dates and portion out time to get it done.

[Philote]

I'm not sure if your classes are different or if you're just exaggerating, but my experience at college so far has not been nearly that hard.

I'd say going as far as getting a recorder is too much, most of the time if you just show up and pay attention you will learn enough to make it through the class.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 I am not exaggerating.

 Some of my classmates actually did need to bring recorders because teachers talked too fast for them to take notes. Not me, but I've seen it happen. And there's nothing wrong with that. If the teacher is talking too fast, a recorder is the best option. If not, normal notes will do.

[Philote]

Luckily I haven't had that problem yet then, even in my hardest classes, Calc/Programming/Humanities, I barely had to take notes and rarely looked over them. Simply observing through the classes got me a majority of the knowledge I needed and only for the big exams did I need to double check things.

I just don't want Marv or Zale thinking that College will be terribly harder than it actually is, if anything I had an easier time with it at points than high school.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Me, too, I'm typically able to pass my classes just by paying attention and taking notes. I don't mean to scare him or make him nervous, but you never can be too safe. I'm just saying, if it comes to that, that's what he should do.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

Naw, I'm not worried about it. If anything I'll find my niche as they geeky guy who's fun to talk to.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Exactly. I think I fill that niche rather nicely with my kinda-sorta friends at Valencia.

[Whd]

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The author has deleted this message.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Yeah, I basically just came over to a group of people in the Valencia Chess Club and started talking to them; now I'm basically friends with nearly all the people in that little area (not all of them belong to the chess club, and those who do are a pretty eclectic group).

[Zaleramancer]

Yes. Recorder.

I will get one of those.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

It's best, if you don't trust you'll be able to write everything down.

Have you figured out where you'll attend college, yet?

[Zaleramancer]

It's not that I have difficulties making friends, It's just I have problems getting close to other people. I have problems with telling people about myself..

[Zaleramancer]

Yes.

I've even been accepted, as of yesterday.

I'm on the list for dorm rooms (My aunt said they'll clear out when people graduate) and signed up for orientation.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Well, you don't have to start off telling them your life story.

Just find people you have things in common with, or people that you feel gravitated toward. That's what I do. I just find people that interest me, or who stand out most to me. They aren't always the most loud, or the most outspoken, or the most charismatic, or the most eloquent, but someone who catches your eye.

And if you meet them, and they "just don't feel right" to you, then you need to know how to distance yourself from them. You don't have to be mean or rude, just keep constantly aware that you don't fall into the wrong crowds. And don't let anyone intimidate you, insult you, or make you feel uncomfortable. Speak your mind to the best of your ability; good friends will appreciate that.

Simple as it sounds, it's helped me find plenty of people whose company I enjoy.