RP Comments

[spydyr]

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[Celadon's Penultimate]

Um, yeah, 667, any reason why Torres is calling Ivan "Mr. Danko"?

[667]

What's his last name?

Nevermind, I got it.

[spydyr]

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[Celadon's Penultimate]

uh, we're not still in brazil? Ugh, I hate being lost!!!

[667]

We started off in Central America.

Jack/Ivan/Wayne/Flores are in the general vicinity of Mesa Verde National Park, where the Anazazi once lived. They just left a Panamanian fishing village and Torres is there now.

Ivan's friends, however, are up on top of the mesa.

Ben and Byne are in an undisclosed location but travelling toward Rio de Janiero.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Right, and Torres is traveling with them to the little mesa where Ivan's friends are.

[667]

No, Torres jumped back to his village.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

DANG, always behind...urgh...

[667]

Chances are, I won't be able to make any more contributions to the RP in the following days.

PLEASE
1) Explore the mesa town more. Remember that Chris Crocker video, "Leave Britney ALONE"? Yeah, do that with Brazil.

2) Get the town totally digging the Stone. This is a whole bunch of very impressionable people who love nothing more than a gladiator match--how would YOU impress the daylights out of them?

3) Get the team to move on. I gave you guys a way for them to procure some easy (and possibly comedy-laden) cash with Jack Flash. No more walking for our guys. Out East is where the government still holds some influence; that'd be a kickass place to unify a country.

4) Have fun with it. Ridiculous dialogue = AWESOME. With Tessa and Pierce and Fitz's little love triangle, the type A personalities of Ivan/Pierce/Flores all in close proximity, and Nadia's fiery temper combined with the zealous smooth-talk of Wayne Cobane, this could be a dysfunctional little group.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Mkay, so when they move on out east, where exactly did you have in mind? Anybody wanna come up with a locale?

[spydyr]

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[Celadon's Penultimate]

he said for the following days....

[spydyr]

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[Celadon's Penultimate]

yeah, I know, I was kinda hoping he wouldn't be gone long, too....

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Hm...Wish, want me to kinda edit that last edit?

[WishIHadThis]

No, its fine... I don't think that its important to the main story right now.

Jack Flash will be more important later.

He's like a character that is mentioned but won't be important until you least expect it.

Hmm so they have a HQ now...... this sounds more and more like a comic book.

So I substituted the Jack Flash intro scene with a scene about Wayne's hair, which I think should be equally as funny and I included a breaking of the 4th wall.....if you can find it.

Don't know if you guys find it funny though.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Uh, The HQ is not permanent, and is only for them to have cheap Brazilian native labor for them to get started up with their plan to spread the word about the stone.

As for the reference, I think its kinda funny...hehe, that's going to facebook...but Wayne is the one who can turn stuff invisible, not the one with superstrength. That's Flores...

In reference to the continuation of the story in general, I'm kinda trying to come up with some sections that are not having as MUCH dialogue. Dialogue is not bad, but we don't want this thing to be mostly conversation. I'm gonna go for the scams and stuff that I talked with 667 and others earlier...

Oh, yeah and sorry changed Wayne to Jack in your portion of the story. I misread so I gotta edit that...on top of that, Wayne went to go see somebody else, so that scene REALLY shouldn't have him in it at all...

[WishIHadThis]

Is it Wayne????

This seems sorta like a troll but to maintain continuity I've decided to make "Wayne" a shapeshifter on the side of the warlords.

Bet you didn't expect this.......

If you don't like it, then post deleted end of story. Out of Continuity. No hard feelings.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

I meant to say CHANGE Wayne to Jack. Cuz Wayne went to see whoever his friend is. That's why I had to change some stuff in MY last post too; I've been so familiar with my own writing style for this long while, that when I see other people's writing styles, I have to adjust.... Nothing wrong with keeping your guy's power what it is; and besides, if ya try to change it now, you'll confuse people who have familiarized themselves with the story. I think the name should just be changed for this post.