RP Comments

[Ericus Europaeus (Bug)]

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[Celadon's Penultimate]

no, no, it's not bad, it's an expected part of any adventure story. The hero doubts if he can even pull off the whole idea. It's good, really. But, it DOES require some tweaking in the grammar department, and sometimes, spelling. Other than that, the imagination part is not really lacking, just needs to be developed. Not everybody can write or imagine at the same level. (blame it on tv, it makes it not as necessary to imagine)

[667]

Time for a new chapter in the story and our heroes' lives!

BTW, if any of you recognize the Lord in the story, I love you SO MUCH.

[spydyr]

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[667]

YOU KNOW TOM HOORAY

Let me get a grip on myself.

I love Tom Waits for his sandpaper and brine voice and his excellent melodies and his weird lyrics. I just thought I'd throw him in there because let's face it, this IS the kind of small role he'd spring for.

Ben and Byne? They're coming up just as soon as Jack gets some rest...

[Ericus Europaeus (Bug)]

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[spydyr]

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[Celadon's Penultimate]

*takes a bow* Thank you! Thank You!

[Whd]

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[spydyr]

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[Celadon's Penultimate]

yeah, like three people...I think Johnny Depp, and two other guys...

[667]

How are you all enjoying the story so far? I don't know how I'm doing unless I get feedback.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

I'm actually enjoying it. And not just the parts that I added, haha.

[667]

Yeah, you had some pretty funny sections--that nevertheless advanced the story and fleshed out characters.

I plan on Pierce teasing Ivan about this for YEARS, and Ivan comically discovering Tessa's 'sexytoime'.

Anything you-all wanna see in the next chapter?

[spydyr]

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[Celadon's Penultimate]

I'm wonderin the same thing Spidey, haha

[667]

Favelas are a very good place to be lawless. Combine that with Francesca's powerful driving ability and the still-powerful drug gangs and there might be a real conflict there.

[spydyr]

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[FlyBoy4]

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[667]

FlyBoy:

Tamara seems interesting and all--I was considering her place in the future of the story the second I met her--but I am trying to tell a story here. If you remove your post so I can wrap up Ben and Byne's tale, I promise to give her a more expansive and cohesive role later and make her a trusted ally.

Okay?

Unusually,
667