New Beginning Survival Guide

[WonderDrow]

     214b. Unless you brew the coffee with a fair amount of catnip.  

[Celadon's Penultimate]

215. When offered the choice between quick or slow death by a reality bender, you're officially screwed. A reality bender can make even the shortest death imaginable seem like an eternity of agony.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

216. All that glitters is not gold. Not even if it actually is gold.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

217. All humans are stupid. All of them. Even the really smart ones.

[Myself]

217-b. Sometimes especially the really smart ones.
218. Do not fear people riding rocket propelled dinosaurs. It's such a common form of transport you'll just have to get use to it and it poses little threat.
219.  If a household cat is acting normally, be afraid, be very afraid.
220. Please don't hunt dragons. They're an endangered species and some superhumans have an obsession with preserving biodiversity, at any cost. This desire is amplified in species as awesome as dragons.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

221. In fact, don't try to harm mythical creatures at all. If you don't end up getting severely harmed or killed by the creature itself, chances are, you'll find even worse trouble with an even more powerful being attempting to protect it.
222. And now that you mention it, many natural landforms are protected by mythical beings, too. Mountains, lakes, rivers, forests...all in all, don't mess with nature, and respect the supernatural.
223. Don't bother looking for that missing left sock. It is gone beyond hope now.
224. That thing that just went bump in the night? Nearly 100% chance you should hide from it.
225. Should you be discerning enough to discover yourself in an illusion, you should likely just go with it. Chances are, the reality behind it is far more frightening/tragic/disappointing.
225a. Unless the illusion leads to death/bodily harm. Then, try to snap out of it.
225b. Or unless the illusion leads to instant success or one's deepest desires. Then, try to snap out of it.
226. Should you find yourself in the midst of zombies...DO NOT PLAY DEAD. Play UNDEAD. Join their crowd, and nine times out of ten, you won't soon be joining their menu.
226a. If all else fails and you find yourself in the one time out of ten when your zombie act isn't convincing, and they begin to swarm in overwhelming numbers...start dancing to the rhythm of the Michael Jackson song 'Thriller'. It is likely they will join your dance in perfect lock-step.
226b. If they do not join your dance, and continue to advance, only one final option remains. Outrun your much slower friends, and hope they don't remember your betrayal, post-mortem.
227. The freaks come out at night. So, when night comes, either don't come out, or make sure you're one of the freaks.
227a. Midnight is known as the witching hour for a reason. If you are not a witch, do not have witches for allies or loved ones, and have nothing to counteract/harm/affect witches, this time is not the time for you to be out and about.
228. You may begin exhibiting irrational behavior from time to time. This is normal. Carry on about your business.
229. Never laugh at the villain, no matter how ridiculous they may appear. Chances are, that child-sized cutie-pie with the butterfly wings and pigtails will soon be your unquestioned overlord and/or the cause of a most excruciating death.
230. Get used to referring to yourself in numerous different instances (your 'dream-self', 'future-self', 'past-self', 'ghost-self', 'other self', 'robot-self', 'clone-self', etc). You are likely not the only 'you' running around this new world.
231. Learn to understand the difference between dreams and illusions.
231a. Sometimes the difference between dreams and illusions is moot; if a superhuman causes either a dream OR an illusion to become real...you're in trouble. Now it's time to try to wake up.

[Myself]

232. Concerned that all females in your friendship group are becoming incredibly attractive, supermodel-thin versions of themselves? Don't worry; it happens to everyone from time to time and they're never at risk of health problems. They will usually revert to normal with time, though there are cases when they do not.
233. If your male friends are becoming muscular, it's likely a similar reason and you should react the same to it.
234. Contrary to popular belief, vampire and werewolf bites have an array of medical treatments, thanks to superpowered scientists. Just get vaccinated for werewolf bites and make use of vampirism if it happens. Cures and vaccines are available anyway, often for less than the price of a can of soft drink.
235. Nevertheless, do not go out on the full moon. It's a terrible idea at the best of times, at least unless you of the highest caliber of superhumans.
236. If you encounter a reality manipulator, contact your local Reality Stability Enforcement Agency immediately.
237. If you see a rampaging superhuman, such as a delusional telekinetic teenager, report it to the Superhuman Control Agency immediately.
238. When interacting with police, state any superpowers or other supernatural capabilities you possess. One rampaging werewolf is one too many.

[Whd]

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[Gentleman Vaultboy]

220/221a: Dragons and other mythical creatures taste good.

[Zaleramancer]

220/221b: There's a decent chance of consuming dragon flesh giving you superpowers.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

220/221c: There's a not so small chance that troll flesh will eat you from the inside.

[WonderDrow]

220/221d Consuming a pixie has high probability of making your winds sparkle.

[Myself]

239) Be wary of unusually unattractive beings, especially in the ocean. Mermaids are among the most dangerous mythological creatures known, while other creatures with similar hunting methods are equally dangerous, but have lower numbers of recorded victims.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

240: The ocean is horrible in general, and is to be avoided.

[Whd]

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[Celadon's Penultimate]

243. There is an alarmingly high number of ways to take over any given land/world/universe/dimension.

[Whd]

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[Celadon's Penultimate]

244. For all intents and purposes, Earth is basically the stupidest planet in the universe.

[Myself]

245) Feeding Myself large quantities of catnip is just asking for trouble. You do not want a heavily drugged-up MPU. Fortunately he should not get the effects due to powers, but that leaves other dangerous felines such as the Kitty of Doom vulnerable.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

246. Anything that leaves the MPUs or allies of the MPUs vulnerable, leaves you vulnerable.