New Beginning Survival Guide

[Celadon's Penultimate]

247. Stupidity and randomness is only subjective some of the time.
248. Objective stupidity and randomness can be either your best friend or your worst nightmare. Take care to use it to your advantage, as situations permit.
249. Attempting to understand the rational? Your best bet is to go for it's much more fun younger cousin, the irrational.
250. Attempting the understand the irrational? That's cute! One does not simply understand the irrational.
251. Gibberish (Jibberish) is an actual language. Everything means something, even if it means nothing at all.
251a. So is Sarcasm.

[Myself]

252. Myself's avatar is more constant than the laws of physics themselves. Especially with so many reality manipulators.

[WonderDrow]

252.a. Given the amount of reality benders in NB the Laws of physics behave often more like optional guidelines. So can hardly be called constant.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

252b. As children often like to color outside the lines, reality benders relish operating outside of the guidelines of physics.

[Myself]

253. If you behave in a racist, homophobic or sexist manner or are discriminatory in any manner in fact, consider yourself dead.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

253a. Or, if the Penultimate is involved, banished and/or horribly disfigured. Likely, also with numerous ravenous and hateful supernatural creatures on your trail.

[Myself]

254. Did a cat/teenager call in an orbital bombardment to deal with a threat? It's no joke in that case.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

255. People who go by nicknames, usernames or 'super' monikers, are best avoided, if at all possible.

[Myself]

256. Just because the Penultimate is unable to kill you does not mean you will not wish you were dead after he has finished punishing you for a transgression.
257. Getting in a bar fight with an MPU? Incalculably stupid. It's so obvious it shouldn't need to be here.
258. A superhuman developing a god complex? Do not fight them. Contact local authorities immediately. If contact is impossible, think of them as much as possible. They'll respond.

[Myself]

259) Under no circumstances is Shadowulf1 allowed simultaneous access to sleeping individuals and writing utensils. Being an MPU, the latter is unavoidable, so instead keep him from sleeping individuals, especially MPU's. Myself suffered this fate while shapeshifted as a cat at a party. He fell asleep for one minute and found odd new markings on his fur.
260) Do not reveal yourself as depowered, especially if you are an MPU. One MPU can tell you all about his experience; everyone abused it.
261) If you see EverBlade or Necronero, tell your local MPU. They'll want to...play some games...with them. You'll earn some favor for alerting them.

I've begun referencing some New Beginning shenanigans.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

262) Anyway you want it, that's the way you need it.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

263) Learn what an MPU is....or don't.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

264. Mispronouncing the term 'MPU' as 'em-poo' is probably a good way to get a good laugh out of most MPUs. Or, on a bad day, a good way to earn the wrath of a very on-edge reality bender.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

265) Don't Stop Believing

[Myself]

266) You never know who will have superpowers in New Beginning. Therefore, treat everyone as nicely as you can.

[Myself]

267) Never complain about anything if you can avoid it. Many MPU's are too eager to help, often being too literal or giving you more than you asked for. For instance, do not complain of not being thin enough. You may well end up being underweight for the rest of existence.
268) Do not intentionally harm the loved ones of an MPU. The punishment will be unimaginable.
269) Do not call a teenager or young adult naive. They could well be twice your age.
270) If you decide to write fanfiction about an MPU, be careful what you say. Some may punish you brutally if you offend them.
271) Do not lose this guide, whatever you do. You will suffer the consequences dearly.
272) Many MPU's have an affection for things. Many adore small animals, even snakes with party hats on, so this may earn you their favor.

[Myself]

273) Do not allow yourself to receive an injection of any kind if you are unaware of the contents.
274) Do not plot again an MPU; they'll find out. Instead, alert another MPU. This can be done by focusing on them and thinking out a very clear, specific message to them.

[Myself]

275) Do not challenge Marvelous Miscreant to a geokinetic duel. That's just stupid.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

275b) But he will respect you for trying.

[Myself]

275) c) Like a sir, too.