Testing, testing,.... Superpower Personality Test

[Marvelous Miscreant]

of course....of course.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

[Marvelous Miscreant]

Should probably continue this...

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Might be a good idea.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

Perhaps.....

[Marvelous Miscreant]

Hmmm, I do think the beginning of this needs some work. Anyone have suggestions. Be brutally honest.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

Try to start earlier than that. We haven't even met this Josh kid yet. Who is he? What is his personality like? Why was he out today? Does he have friends, parents, hobbies? What are his dreams and hopes?

Why should I care about this random person who I don't know, on this random planet I know nothing about, being attacked randomly by some guy who can shoot fire?

Nothing has been established yet, and we're already in the thick of it. Now, that doesn't mean that you have to list all that stuff. You can sprinkle it it throughout the first chapter, all natural like. But you must establish, at least, what type of person Josh is before you get to the action, because if you don't the reader has no reason to care about him.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

Perhaps, some context would make things clearer. While I do jump right into the action. Several thoughts that will later pass through Josh's head as he remembers what had just happened build the background. Once I get the rest  written out it will make more sense...and if not I can rewrite it.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

But you're right, it might be better if things were explained first....

[Marvelous Miscreant]

If at least two people have any interest in this then I would be inspired enough to continue it.

[Zaleramancer]

So what do you have now?

[Marvelous Miscreant]

not much...

[Zaleramancer]

What is the basic plot?

[Marvelous Miscreant]

The main character (name pending) lives in what is thought to be the perfect society. It was built on a brand new planet and uses all the latest technology to keep peace, health and happiness. But there is a darker side to this society. To keep such perfection, some human elements have to be removed.

Every criminal, mental patient, and other human that doesn't fit the mold is removed from the planet and placed on the old earth. Earth is now one big prison where "inmates" have to fend for themselves. There are also a few wildcards mixed in. Mutants, after years of manipulating human genes to improve health some people are born with mutant abilities. They are also removed from the planet.

The main character one day discovers his normally dormant mutant gene and is shipped to the old earth, where a couple of corrupt mutant have created a hierarchy out of the inmates in an attempt to escape the planet.

[Zaleramancer]

Oooo.

Prison Colony of mutants and outcasts?

Awesome.

What kind of help do you desire?

[Marvelous Miscreant]

Only a few ideas on characters (other that what I've already received) and a good starting point. Becasue as Vault pointed out...mine kinda sucks.

[Zaleramancer]

Do you want to spend much time in the New Earth, or not?

[Zaleramancer]

Oh, and what character concepts do you need?

[Marvelous Miscreant]

The majority of the story takes place on The old earth. Only in the very beginning will our hero be on the "new earth"

[Marvelous Miscreant]

Really anything from rebels to innocents to bad guys...