RP Comments

[Wish]

I think we need to address these plotholes

1st plothole-----why does the President want to find the Artist?

2nd plothole---If Damien is Wayne's "apprentice" then when do they actually do you know apprentice stuff....

3rd plothole Why did Archer turn "evil"?


Surprisingly all these plotholes were caused by me

So I will start working on fixing them now

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Well, actually, the plotholes are manageable.

1) The Pres isn't after the Artist. Jolyne is for personal reasons; meaning she disobeyed the Pres, when he said to take Jack somewhere else (because, by somewhere else, he meant somewhere to be tortured)

2) Technically, the working to take down the Overlords is perhaps the best practice an assassin or an assassin's apprentice can get.

3) Archer was kinda moral-gray from the get-go (assassins tend to work more for their benefit than for moral goodness), although, if you want to elaborate on this one, it is welcome.

[Wish]

1) I assumed he was. Why else would he have the picture......its not like he's crazy prepared and researched this person just so that he could distract Jack. He would have to be tracking the Artist for days just to find him-going by the artist's bio.

So still not resolved.

2) ok this one is one of the less important ones so....

3) Hardest to explain but ......he's an assassin works.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

hm...I suppose #1 is kinda difficult to explain unless he's after the Artist. Mmkay. Go ahead, edit away, we need to make it clear, especially for the newcomers.

[Wish]

Just thought this little bit was funny....there already happens to be an established fictional character named Jack Ryder

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheCreeper

Interesting huh........

[Celadon's Penultimate]

1st: that goes in Internet Awesomeness...kinda

2nd: What happened to Jolyne and Jack wandering through Boston? Has the plan been changed?

[Sinrus]

The first two of those aren't really plot holes. The third is. When Archer supposedly turned evil, that threw me off completely because it utterly contradicted everything else he has ever done in the story, especially since he's not getting any reward because, if you remember, he didn't capture Jack; he saved Jack several times by thwarting the government's other bounty hunters, and then Jack was finally taken when the government came in and did it themselves. I would suggest editing that part so that the agents still come onto the train, but remove anything about Archer helping them and keep him as a good guy.

Now, thanks for that catching-up post Shadowulf. I think I'm good on where everybody is and what they're doing there, but does anybody have any specific (or even vaguely half-formed) plans? I want to post but I don't really know what to post, so if somebody could (at least starting out) just point-and-fire, I can write up anything you may suggest.

Also, holyshitthepresidentisDorianGrey. That is too awesome for me to say in more that one word.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

You are very welcome.

As for Archer's villainous turn, though, I think of it more like defending the prize for himself. He kept the other baddies away, but not so Jack would be safe, so Jack would be taken away by HIM when the right time came.

Hope that helps clear that up.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Added more to the RP: Charisma helped break out the supers she helped to imprison. Now, onward to cover the other facets of the story.

[Sinrus]

Cool. Like I said before, just point me and fire. Tell me what to write, and I'll write it.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Hm...

I'm thinking that we should talk about Indianapolis first. That's where the Mover is (see Characters thread). His town is full of skyscrapers and such, a kinda "big city" place; imagine it filled with rolling blackouts and looters and riots left and right. Now, here's what I had for Indianapolis (as quoted from my email chat with 667)

However, there's a bit of a problem. Jack's in Boston. So, in order for us to talk about Damien, Flores and Wayne in Indianapolis, they must first follow Ben, Byne and Francesca to Boston and pick up Jack from the second Government Facility (not the one that was just taken over by Charisma and the others)

You think you could coordinate something like that in a couple pages' worth of writing?

[Sinrus]

Hmm... I think I could figure something out. But the specifics are a little cloudy. A couple questions, then.

Is the Artist crucial to the plot? Or rather, would he have to be dealt with before we could take Jack out of Boston?
Is Jolyne a good guy now, or what?
Weren't Wayne and Ben and the rest planning to stay in Boston and overthrow the Overlady there?
Do we already have any good guys in Indianapolis who the team would know of?

Beyond those issues, I'm thinking that I could make something about the government and the Overlady's henchmen figuring out that they're in Boston, closing in on them, and they flee the city and head to Indianapolis to meet up with somebody there.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

1) The Artist is going to be useful, if not necessary, so please don't kill him. Feel free to imprison him or even injure him, but PLEASE nothing fatal. Same goes for Anita, his banker/friend.

2). No Jolyne is still bad as ever; however, she is charged by the President with keeping an eye on Jack, in the hopes he'll turn to their side.

3) Ben's group (Ben, Byne, Francesca) are staying in Boston; Wayne's group (Wayne, Damien, Flores) are just dropping by to find Jack before heading to Indianapolis to deal with the Mover.

4) No, nobody's in Indiana that they already know of; probably best not to add any new characters, either; not sure of any new characters who would fit there.

As for your idea otherwise, go for it. I think they could maybe infiltrate the building (via Transparency and/or Sleep Inducing) rescue Jack (during or after his torture, you choose) and then somebody (maybe a person immune to sleep effects or capable of seeing the invisible)  catches them and alerts everybody to get them...or something. You decide for the most part.

Happy typing...

[Sinrus]

What I meant by the Artist question was, do we need him to do anything else for Jack or Jolyne before we get them out of there, or can I just ignore him?

Beyond that, I'm all set. I'll get to thinking.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

um, in all actuality, he really is needed to get rid of Jolyne's weird remote tattoo and Jack's shock collar tattoo and after that you can let him be imprisoned or escape or whatever; you can even let the baddies try to convince/force him to draw an age-sustaining portrait for the President, as Wish intended, but maybe he escapes or whatever (just DON'T kill him or Anita). Other than that, no, he's not important right right now.

[Sinrus]

Working on a post now, but the one thing that's stumping me is how they're supposed to find Jack. Maybe I overlooked something, but I don't think any of them have a power that they could use to locate him. If push comes to shove I could just have them bump together by pure chance, but I'm reluctant to do that. For now, I think I'll just get as far as I can before that becomes necessary and put what I have up.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Well, from a previous post, it says that Jack was with Jolyne. If Jolyne just found the Artist and Anita, then more than likely, Jack isn't far behind (or he COULD be because of Jolyne's ability, but shouldn't be, for the sake of convenience). So, I'd say they're out in the street somewhere. This means that as the supers arrive, they might meet up with him as he's waiting for Jolyne to return or something (maybe sippin' coffee waiting for her to come back). That's the best I could come up with, but ya know, if you can think of something better, or more convenient, cool.

[Zaleramancer]

Never underestimate the ability of characters to some how manage to find each other if the plot requires it.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Yeah, what he said...

[Sinrus]

Le post!

I'll explain how they found Jack next time. Meanwhile, thoughts? I purposefully left it ambiguous as to what happened to Adam and Anita, so whoever wants can decide whether they were captured or got away. And I've gotten the go ahead from Shadowulf for the Indianapolis story arc... this is going to be so much fun