RP Comments (3)

[Zaleramancer]

You can go check it out if you'd like.

The quality is intermittent.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

Wayne, you are the worst assassin. Why wouldn't you lead off with the grenade?

Yes, please get in melee range with the dude with six arms!

How are you not dead? That as enough force to crush the wall. That should have been you're bones.

Don't talk, do your job. You don't stop and have a chat with your target, that's just unprofessional.

Why don't you have a team? You are being paid One Billion Dollars to guard this hole in the wall, why not shell out $25000 for a organized team. There is literally no reason not to have at least one other guy with you, watching your back.

See, what did I just tell you you dumb idiot

Seriously, the worst assassin.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 Yes. Yes, it was. Two years and some change.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 Uh-huh. Toldja. Needs work.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

Reboot? What? So much yes! That way I'll have a stake in it and be compelled to read it....all of it.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 Well, goodness, why did nobody say anything before? I told you guys I wanted your opinion on how to make it better! If you guys thought it needed a reboot, I could have done this EONS ago, rather than wasting my time and effort on stuff nobody wants to read, or feels comfortable reading!

[Zaleramancer]

Sowwie Shad.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

It didn't seem like an option at the time. Who am I, as an outside viewer, to call for a reboot?

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

If I'm being hard on Wayne, it's only because I sympathize more with him than anyone else.

He's the only one that I, as a reader, has learned anything about. His personality and history are more elaborated on than any of the other characters, and I actually sort of know what it is his powers do.

He comes off as a guy trying so hard to come across as a badass assassin, despite the fact that he is, in fact, a badass assassin. I like him.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 *sigh*

*pats head* It's fine...

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 *Braveheart voice* You're a valued member of the tribe.

*Yoda voice* Not just a newcomer, are you.

*Aslan voice* I would want your input as much as anyone's in the event of a redo.

*King Leonidas voice* THIS...IS...THE FORUM!

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Well, I'm glad you feel that way. Hopefully, more of the characters will come across so likeable, in the event of a redo.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

I'm also liking Ben, and sort of want to know more about him. I can see where he's coming from, and the Truth vs. Hope thing is something that could be expanded on.

How did these guys all meet? I mean, Ben apparently woke up in France with no memories and a superpower.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 So much to be worked on...

[Marvelous Miscreant]

I'll keep that in mind.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

Oh, The Stone itself: I love this idea. I useless hunk of rock, talked up by the villains to be the most powerful thing ever.

Of course, if I came up with a rumor like that, I'd just talk about how it was "Lost" and sent "Search Expedients" to find it that would always return empty handed. That catalyst for the plot wouldn't be finding the stone, it would be discovering that the stone doesn't exist. And if it doesn't exist, then that's the same as saying that any weird looking rock could be "The Stone."

That rumor, turned on it's head and used to destroy the tyrants who thought it up. Their panic when they realize that the Stone had been "Found." Oh, how marvelous. Marvelous.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 *sigh* I'm not nearly so diabolical.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

My head is full of ideas. I'm having so many, just reading this old thread and thinking about things.

Would you like me to just pour them out so you can sift through for the good bits?

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 Pleasey-please with some please on top, yes please.