RP Comments (3)

[Celadon's Penultimate]

It's never defined how the protagonists joined forces, or even how they met.

I was gonna get to that, little by little, having each member reflect on it at different times.

And yes, I need to better define Gorak. Because I think that the casual reader may not understand if he's a golem or just a very talented geo (he's human, of course).

[Zaleramancer]

We could always just shift them a wee bit south, so that they have to cross most of central america to get there.

But, I'm afraid that might interfere with Ben and Byne's stories. Let's add that to the list of things to look at for now, shall we? At least until I can examine the latter portions of the story.

[Zaleramancer]

On second thought, we simply need to change the first post where it says "In Arizona" to something else.

[Zaleramancer]

The Stone is red?

That's novel.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Okay, sure, we'll chalk it up for later necessary edits.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 And why's that?

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 Of course it's red. Like a pumice-y red rock. To make it seem harmless and unimpressive.

Now, if it looked like a black, chrome-y, metallic radioactive thing, people would immediately think there was something special about it. But a ruddy piece of crud like this? Perfect to be hidden in plain sight.

[Zaleramancer]

Because.

In order for the Hero Group 1 to go north, they must be south of the Panama Canal.

[Zaleramancer]

Green is the traditional color for !ROCKS!

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Um, true. So...can we just work out the geographical stuff to make it accurate? I kinda wanna start off in Arizona.

[Zaleramancer]

That would mean changing nearly every single location up until they meet Torres, and most of Ben and Bynes little adventure.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 It is? Hm... I never thought of that...

Ah, well, at least I'm being original.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Um, dang.

Well, on the bright side, that's not past page two.

Unless...um, how much of Ben and Byne's adventures are you talking about?

[Zaleramancer]

Well.. They did go south, though they'd have to travel through most of central america and all of brazil to get to Rio.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 Oh, dear. You're right.

Well, I can gladly elaborate on that part. I plan to do some elaboration for a few places where explanation may be necessary, so that would just be another thing to add to my list.

And, if you don't mind, you and I need to set up a to-do list in the Reminder Thread for things that need doing in Evolutionist's Stone. Not now, just whenever you show me everything that needs doing.

[Zaleramancer]

Oh, that's what it's for. Go ahead.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Okay, so I added the reminder there. But obviously, you have other things that need correcting, right?

I'll add the reminders there when you point out all the errors you see, here first.

[Ericus Europaeus (Bug)]

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[Celadon's Penultimate]

 Ahem...perhaps not...

[Ericus Europaeus (Bug)]

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