New Beginning 23: One for the Record Books

[Myself]

(I know. )

[Myself]

I am walking along, about to dismiss my forces due to lack of need, when I slip on an envelope. I catch myself by hovering in midair, then open it to read the contents.

[Zaleramancer]

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

Vault stood with his feet planted firmly on the ground and waited for something bad to happen. When nothing did, his posture slowly because less guarded. Looking out over the sandy expanse of an alien world he let out a deep breath. "Okay," he said. "If we're doing this we have to lay down so ground rules. "Rule number one; if someone describes themselves with the phrase 'reality bender' then you should-"

"Excuse me?" the voice of night echoes away. Vault spins around to find his young companion had disappeared from his side and entered the mouth of the hole. "I'm so sorry to intrude like this, be I and my companion were told that you could help us travel somewhere. If you're in need of assistance, however, I'll gladly off my help."

"-not listen to me and follow weird voices into weird caves." Vault says, turning and hurrying after Knight.

[The Narrator]

"What's the worst that could happen?" Narrator states as he follows Vault....

--

Thank you,
Derek A. Haynes: Plant Biology Major
Senior, College of Agriculture & Life Sciences
North Carolina State University
cell: [phone]

[Zaleramancer]

What appears to be a pile of animate cables, cogs and spinning gears stumbles out of the cave and falls onto the sand. After a moment, a pale hand emerges and is followed thin, pale man. He has bags under his eyes, white stringy hair and gives off the overall impression of a panicked white rabbit.

Ignoring the people around the hole, he nervously leans towards it and closes his eyes, muttering what sounds like "Pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease"

There's a noise like a car backfiring, followed by several electric zaps.

"Ohpleasenotpistonsevenohhhhandtheregoesthewesternpowerassembly."

A loud banging noise rings out as a teeth-aching screech of metal-on-metal screams out of the hole.

"NOTTHETHIRTYSEVENTH. OhsheeeeeOhsheeeee. Bossissgonnakilllllmeeeee."

For the first time he notices, and dismisses those around him, only to catch sight of the suited blue man.

"Baz! OhBazohBazpleeasssseeesavvveeemeeee." He bolts over behind the man in a silver streak and begins digging into the sand. In a flash, all that's left is a pile of dirt with two bloodshoot eyes faintly visible.

Then comes a sound like a thunderstorm screaming bloody murder. It roared out so loudly that it was nearly a wind.

Then came an actual breeze, followed by the sight -faintly- of what appeared to be a growing red dot off in the dark reaches of the hole. It appeared to be either getting bigger or closer by the second.

[Myself]

Reading the letter, I am surprised that it is my temporal horrors which are causing concern, not my armada. I check the grounds and find that none of my selves are still in the present, all back in their own time. It was causing wibbly wobbly timey wimey disruptions; I guess the universe can't handle that much awesome.

"All good." I say in a telepathic message to Zaleramancer "They're all in their home times."

[Myself]

I decide to message Zaleramancer, the owner of this grand city, once more, to offer my services in repairs.

"Does this city use any of my technology or standard Earth technology?" I ask "If so, my repairmen could repair the damage; consider it an apology for horrendous damage to local space-time."

[Zaleramancer]

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

"It's always something." says an exasperated Vault. "Knight, I don't suppose you can hols whatever that is with your sting stuff."

"That depends, Mr. Vaultboy," Knight replies, looking down the hole. The boy was tense, but not in the way you are when faced with danger. Something in his body language, something Vault couldn't quite place, made it seem as though there was something personal gong on there, something to do with that red light. "That depends entirely on whether or not the creature is alive. Ghosts, if I'd know we were going to be thrown into the thick of things this soon I would have prepared something before we left."

Vault instead turned to the blue man. "Well, looks like it's me and you." He then notice the other person with them for the first time. Quivering terror momentarily forgotten, he looks out into the empty desert to find where the newcomer could have come from. Finding nothing, he shrugs. No reason to look a gift horse in the mouth, after all. "And you." He says to the Narrator.

He steps forward toward the pile of scrap junk that moleman had dragged out with him and focused on it, giving a wave of his hand. Instantly, the pile seemed to jump to attention. Cables, tubes, pipes, and cogs whirl around in the air, fitting and joining together. A latices work of cable and gear assembles itself around one of the larger pipes and tubes feed into the back and plunge deep into the sand. "Transmechanization: 76mm Sand Cannon!"" Vault calls out to no one upon the completion of a turret that looks like it was held together with gum and prayer.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

The Penultimate catches sight of Myself reading the fallen note. His eyes brighten, on noticing the sender.

Leaning over Myself's shoulder slowly (but without the faintest evidence of trying to be sly), he 'yoinks' the note away from Myself's grasp, and holds it to his face, like a mischievous child discovering his Christmas gifts two days too early.

"Hey there, Zaleramancer!" came the gleeful salutation, "How's it goin'? Long time no see, Z!"

If his friend declined to show up in person, the Penultimate would simply have to make his communications two-way.

[Zaleramancer]

The man peered into the hole, and then said in a bored voice, "Ah well. It appears that the main fuel pipe has been redirected into the automated incinerator.  It had been my hope that this design flaw had been checked for. It can not be helped, I suppose."

"I believe the, ah, what was it our employer once christened it? Oh yes, 'Fiery liquid death' vents out through here. Two thousand Kelvin or so, I suppose. It should have a negative impact on the surrounding area. Perhaps for several hundred of those earthly kilometers. I shall be reduced to unglassing the deserts once more, it seems. Such a tedious job."

He pulls a pocket-watch from his jacket and examines the time.

"Only about twenty three seconds to go. It would be the day that I purchase a new suit that I am put against such a inconvenient accident. However.."

He pulls what appears to be a wide, white piece of fabric, then wraps it around his waste in the manner of a sarong. The man then takes a step to the right, leaving his suit hanging where he once stood, then starts to pluck the pieces from the air and fold them up.

"Do you also have items that can not withstand the temperatures that we shall soon face? I can place them in a small dimension-outside-of-dimensions if it becomes needed of me."

[Zaleramancer]

   
 

[Celadon's Penultimate]

"Um...I'd offer to give you guys a moment, and sort all this out, but I doubt that'd solve much."  The Penultimate blinks at the new log of messages, "So, how bout you guys say hello to all the folks here at the party?"

He turned back to the patrons, with his best air of bravado; some mix of a frat leader and a circus ringmaster, "Party people, say hello to the Zaleramancer, Master of Mysteries and Magic, Slayer of Library Reading Lists, Knower and Lover of Various Assorted Useful and Useless Miscellanea!"

A seconds' silence, but then a small voice cries out from the crowd, "Hey, wasn't he the one that set off the Big Boom, and sent the Technari running?"

An instant for the words to register, and then an outburst of raucous applause.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

"Uh, yeah, me." Vault said, realizing that the thing rushing toward them was not a monster.

"Me as well sir, if it wouldn't be to much trouble." Knight says, ever polite.

[Myself]

I realize, after receiving a message, that my mental capabilities are suffering slightly due to recent, prolonged and extensive interaction with other selves, leaving my mind in a mess. I decide to isolate myself in order to allow the problem to sort itself out. I should be immune to such a problem in future.

(I decided to write my blunder into canon, deciding my recent wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey issue would be a factor. Also, no puns intended in any part of this post).

[Myself]

After spending some time ensuring I am of no harm to anyone, I temporarily depart the party in order to deal with a superpowered threat on the edge of my empire which is destroying my fleets with no difficulty nor damage. Seeing as The Narrator seems bored, I invite him along to help hunt the beast.

[The Narrator]

Narrator accepts. He grabs his goggles and follows Myself. 

--

Thank you,
Derek A. Haynes: Plant Biology Major
Senior, College of Agriculture & Life Sciences
North Carolina State University
cell: [phone]

[Myself]

With The Narrator in tow, I fly toward a planet in orbit around a star in the same constellation of Celadon when viewed from our current location. As I speed up, I teleport to my location and give The Narrator the means to follow me. I see it attacking a planet. I fly straight at it, slamming into it as a powerful first attack.

[The Narrator]

The Narrator follows suit, throwing a stream of electrity at the foe. 

"What's the background of this beast?"

--

Thank you,
Derek A. Haynes: Plant Biology Major
Senior, College of Agriculture & Life Sciences
North Carolina State University
cell: [phone]