New Beginning 23: One for the Record Books

[Myself]

I hear a question from my acquaintance, to which I respond "I know little of the beast; many of my powers are incapable of scrying knowledge of it. All I know is that my fleet's vast array of weapons is almost useless. I have little doubt it is a creation of a rogue MPU. I am considering a psionic attack and I have assigned one of my minds that sole task. As you may notice, the effect is virtually imperceptible."

(I intend to come up with a weakness for this beastie or find a novel way to defeat it, such as pushing it into a pocket dimension and taking control of that dimension, such as erasing or sealing it. I'd prefer not to follow that route, however.)

[Philote]

I recline back on top of a pink plateau located at the Topaz Caves of Aeon. The next annual hunting season for the compass fox has begun and I've come to oversee those willing to delve into the caves. Laying back, I wait for something interesting to catch my attention.

[Myself]

I recall the fleet from my previous location; they are clearly not needed here. They shall be used to evacuate local poulations and assist in the fight in any way possible.

[The Narrator]

Narrator thinks.  

"Ok, I guess we keep fighting till a weakness comes our way. We're two strong beings. What's the worst that can happen?"

--

Thank you,
Derek A. Haynes: Plant Biology Major
Senior, College of Agriculture & Life Sciences
North Carolina State University
cell: [phone]

[Myself]

I recall several unfortunate incidents in the past which have been less than desirable.

I respond to Narrator "I suppose so, attack it's eyes! Most stuff hurts the most in the eyes! First, we find out if it has eyes, what they look like and where they are. We the progress with the rest of the plan. Sounds reasonable?"

I lunge at the nearest portion of the beast, stabbing it with a sword of stabbiness to see what flinches and moves the most.

(I am pleased with this; I am one of the top commenters I could never keep up with in the past. I am also noticing that my NB self is beginning to remind me of the 11th Doctor).

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

Suddenly Vaults pleading eyes shifted between his useless contraption and the oncoming fiery liquid death. "23 seconds." he said to himself, looking back at the machine and the sand all around them. "This is a stupid idea." He shouted, then pointed at the cannon. " Everybody shield your eyes. Transmechanization!"

The machine warped, it's parts twisting in space, changing. The cannon barrel pointed straight up in the air, growing wider, seeming to take metal from other, less needed components. The gears along it turned rapidly, starting to glow with an astounding heat, as the tubes started chugging, sucking sand into the middle part. It had become some sort of mixing chamber, also glowing red hot. There was a sound like a mountain spitting up, and something started to shot out of the top in small chucks that rained down around them.

Knight bent down and plucked one of the material off the sand, looking it over quizzically. "How does glass help us?"

"It's a vital component." Vault said as the machine went into overtime, causing dirty glass to fall like hailstones. "I need glass for this next bit."

Large sinkholes were now forming in the sand as glass fell at an alarming rate. It was already up to their ankles. Vault decided that that was enough. "Alright, now everybody pray. Transmechanization!"

The glass bits littering the ground leaped up into the air as the machine shifted again. As it changed back into a cannon like shape, the glass swirled around, consolidating one it. The result was a cannon, but covered entirely in intricately carved clear glass. It looked as though it had been frozen, and out of middle grew a grandfather clock the size of a man, flanked by a pair of spinning prayer wheels, all composed entirely of glass and intricately carved. On their own, both the wheels and the clock hands started spinning slowly.

Vault took hold of the firing lever and pulled down hard as the fire breached the mouth of the cave and was moments from spilling over them. "Glass Clock Cannon; Reverse!"

The tubes, still buried in the sand, began to suck up something else as the wheels and the hands of the clock began spinning blindingly fast in the opposite direction. A concentrated wave of something fired out of the cannon as the wave was upon them, impacting it dead center and enveloping it entirely. The waves advance was halted. Then, slowly, it began moving backwards into the cave, growing fainter and fainter until it was again just a red light coming from the depths. Then not even that.

Vault wiped his brow and collapsed into the dirt. Knight looked over at him and opened his mouth, but Vault cut him off before he said anything. "Glass is a excellent conduit for time. When I first got this power, I tried to build something I'd seen in a book with it. Turns out Terry Pratchett knows his stuff."

He then turned to the little man hiding under the sand. "So, how long has it been since things went complementary FUBAR? I need to know when I can cut this thing off."

[The Narrator]

"Hey Myself, if only it was wearin glasses. That would help. "

Narrator summons a giant vine covered in thorns . The vines  lunge at the beast

--

Thank you,
Derek A. Haynes: Plant Biology Major
Senior, College of Agriculture & Life Sciences
North Carolina State University
cell: [phone]

[Myself]

I fly at the beast again, now with a piece of headgear I refer to as The Great Spacey-Wacey Fezzy-Wez.

I throw the other end of a psychic net at Narrator "Help me wrap this around this thing; it should contain it, if temporarily."

[The Narrator]

Narrator grabs the net, wrapping the beast as best he can

[Zaleramancer]

The eyes roll around and stare out from beneath the sands.

"Errrr. At least.. theta psi divide by c, carry the eight... three minutes?"

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

"Eh, lets leave it for a couple of hours just to be safe. Back far enough for you to fix whatever went wrong." Vault says, standing up and dusting sand off his pants. "So," he turns to the man again. "About the guy you said could help us?"

[Zaleramancer]

"He-

YOU WILL HALT OR BE FORCIBLY DISCORPOREALATED.

Three short, androgynous looking figures appeared to fold out of the air. They wore a mixture of intricately etched metal and black clothing that screamed Uniform; they hefted large spears that glowed the color of an angry bruise, having no problem pointing them quite accurately at those assembled despite the fact that their helmets appeared to cover their eyes.

The voice seemed to be coming from at least one of them, even though none of them ever opened their mouths.

YOU TWO -one of the figures gestured at the blue man and the quivering pile of sand- ARE IDENTIFIED AS AUTHORIZED EMPLOYEES. WE HAVE NO RECORDS OF THE OTHER PAIR. -all of them refocused attention on Vault and Knight- YOU WILL IDENTIFY OR BE PLACED UNDER ARREST FOR TRESPASSING, VANDALISM, AND AGGRAVATED TIME MANIPULATION.  

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

Vaultboy puts his hands in the air and backs away few steps, but Knight takes initiative as always, politely bowing to the three before speaking. "My name is Knight, Necromancer of the Millennial Kingdom and Squire of the Black Manor, traveling to Aeon on official Manor business." He reaches into his robe and pulls out a small black coffin, popping up the lid and showing the contents to the...time cops....to verify his story.

"Uhhhhhh," Vault struggled over whether or not to give his real name but decided that, no, he wasn't going to have that show up on any intergalactic watchlist. "Gentleman Vaultboy," god, that sounded so stupid when he said it out loud, "Weird Empowered Dude of Earth...Tourist? Who just so happened to have saved all this lovely.....sand with his aggravated time manipulation, not to mention the lives of everyone here."

[Myself]

Managing to snare the beast with the assistance of Narrator, the beast begins to drag us along. I offer no resistance, instead preferring a joyride.

[The Narrator]

"This is really a drag," Narrator screams to Myself. 

"We need a little miracle to win this... "

--
Derek A. Haynes
Lead Tutor
Destined for Greatness: Academic Services

[Myself]

I look around, noticing that the beast does not appear to be stopping any time soon. I decide tostart kicking it repeatedly, mostly for entertainment. I look around at stars for any which are likely to go supernova soon. It may be resistant to our powers, but a mundane force of destruction might do it; you'd be surprised how much in vulnerable to exploding stars.

I am starting to realize that my behavior may or may not have been affected by recent events.

(If you are wondering, my mental image of the "beast" is a giant cloud of black, drifting in deep space, fortunately far from any planets. It is, however, rather solid in form.)

[The Narrator]

"Hey Myself, couldn't we throw this thing into a black hole?"  

Narrator asks, also assaulting the beast.

--
Derek A. Haynes
Lead Tutor
Destined for Greatness: Academic Services

[Myself]

"Perhaps" I reply "what about combining the destructive methods; exposing it to a supernova AND a black hole? Maybe trap it in the are fro a few years until the star collapses under its own weight and takes the beast with it."

[The Narrator]

"That sounds easy enough, I'm sure the explosive energy will disrupt it long enough for it to be trapped, although blackholes aren't as permanent as I once thought, I had a bout with a long time foe eons ago, and he seemed to escape the blackhole....."

"But that's old news, let's get the star show rockin!"

[Myself]

"Alright, we are going to wrap the beast in an even bigger net, one large enough to encompass the entire star until it explodes in about a week. Until then, we just check on it regularly." I say to Narrator, pointing at the star I have in mind.