Game: Randomizer Wars!

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

Maybe you're a very good shot, or it could be the fact that your surrounded by rabbit's feet, but your shot plows right into my left hand. I scream an oath and dive behind a nearby mail bin in case you shoot off anymore.

Meanwhile, all around you, you hear the agonized cries of rabbits. One by one they stand up, over two dozen of them all around you. Some large, like hop, with tile armor protecting their hides. Some long, thin, creatures: bodies shining with metal inserts. The few that hit you are now man bunnies like you saw before. You see a mall rabbit made entirely of wood.

They are all looking at you.

They are not doing anything.

I pop my head out of cover and say, "Sorry, forgot my order. Kill him!" before shrinking back down to minister my wounded hand.

[Sirmazing]

I don't know if you guys are still going, but if anyone wants to challenge me I got  Angelic Hierarchy: Dominions

[Marvelous Miscreant]

We still are going. You'll have to wait till we finish. it's mostly my fault though.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

Only one thing to do in a situation like this...panic. With my panic comes my power. The nearest bunnies start to be attracted to things that they fear both distracting them and killing some of them.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

I'm still ministering my bleeding hand when I look out to see some of my rabbits tear off into the city. What I can't know is that they will spend the following weeks tracking down and following the city's only dog, much to the poor creatures horror, until eventually starving to death.

Well, that tears it, kid gloves come off now. I fire around a dozen rabbits into the concrete while the dozen or so still in the store all make after you. As I watch them grow into stoney behemoths, I chastise myself for allowing things to reach this point and not crushing him with overwhelming force at the very beginning. If you get out of this, you will not be making that mistake again.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

I run for my life while firing my nail gun behind me. I duck and weave through tight spaces to try and lose the bunnies and duck out into the back ally way.

"There has got to be a better way to get at this guy."

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

(You ran out the back?)

[Marvelous Miscreant]

(Yeah...I wasn't going to run out the front.)

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

(Oh dear...)

As you duck out the back way, firing behind you at my minions, you tun into what appears to be a large brick wall. It then raises up it's head and you realize that it is not, in fact, a wall; it is actually a large rabbit, made of bricks and concrete. It lets out a roar, and swipes at you with one massive claw. Meanwhile the rabbits that you have not killed come filing out of the store behind you, screaming for blood.

All this noise is easy for be and my dozen stone rabbits to hear out front. This was the single I'd told them to listen for.

"All right boys, this guy can mess with you're head when he gets afraid to make you stop going after him. I thought he made you kill yourself, at least until half of your brothers ran out into the city looking for Frith knows what. So what I want you to do, is use your remarkable ears and legs to throw yourselves at the center of all that noise. That way, even if he screws with your brain, you can't break off the attack. Gravity will make sure of that. Now, hop to it!"

The bunnies obey, using their powerful legs to launch themselves high in the sky, prepared to rain down like the wrath of El-ahrairah.

Rabbits in front.

Rabbits behind.

Rabbits above.

No way out.

Rocks fall, opponent dies. I let out a little chuckle.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

"Well sh*t.......Now I'm dead."

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

The rabbits rain down like meteors striking the earth, reducing the alley and everything in it to a fine powder.

"All right, now that that's taken care of, I've got to find the gauze. I hope this doesn't get infected."

I head out into the city, alone. Today the gauze, tomorrow the world. I will be a prince with a thousand enemies. If they catch me, they will kill me. But first, they must catch me.

All hail the age of the rabbit.

(Was that to much? I didn't cheat, did I?)

[Marvelous Miscreant]

Naw, you;re good....there was really only one way this could have ended. My power was too weak.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

Yay! 'Nother successful and entertaining Randomizer Battle.

And I am SO leaving Earth. The Age of the Rabbit CANNOT be a good thing.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

Oh, it won't be that bad. It's not like they'll kill all the humans. You'll be kept in hutches, and your new rabbit overlords will take good care of you, because they find you cute.

I'm sorry it was so mismatched though. Normally I always try to leave of route of escape open, but with this there was no way to do that at the end. It would have been logically inconsistent.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

No It cannot.....run for your lives..

[Celadon's Penultimate]

It's fine. It turned out well in the end.

Well, ya know...aside from the Bunny Apocalypse.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

And me dying...

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 Oh, yeah, that, too.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

Mmmm-Hmmmm

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 You know I'm grieving your death.