Game: Randomizer Wars!

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

Hey Marv (or anyone really, I don't care), If you still want to go I Have Magical Bunny Blaster.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

Your Magical Bunny Blaster against my Mesmeric Fear. Let's Go!

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

I hold out my hands and, with a soft *pop,* an adorable bunny appears in them. It is pure white, soft, cuddly, and warm. I take a moment to give it a few affectionate strokes, before spiking it into the rocky ground. As soon as the rabbit strikes the ground, changes begin to take place. It starts becoming bigger and begins growing a hard, rocky exterior shell. It's claws become granite spikes, and three spiral stone horns push their way out of its skull. All the while, it is screeching the shriek of the damned.

The final beast stand at ten feet and while still recognizable as a rabbit, displays none of it's former, gentle, nature. It is apparent to anyone that looks into it's red eyes that it is quite mad.

I gesture in your direction saying, "Have at him, my Lagomorphic friend."

The creature lets out a roar like a warren imploding and bounds off toward you, murder in it's eyes.

(By the way, where are we fighting? It doesn't feel fair picking a battlefield without your input.)

[Marvelous Miscreant]

(Beats me, though I suggest an adandoned city)

"Sometimes one must retreat....that time is now" I sprint away in a "strategic retreat"

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

(Fair enough, in that case imagine a demonic rabbit  made up of concrete.)

"Well that's no fun. Hippy-hop!" At my call the stone rabbit ceases it's pursuit and returns to me. I scramble up onto it's back and hold on.

"Good boy. Now, as you were."

It resumes pursuit, me astride it.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

I slip quickly into an abandoned shop and hide behind one of the shelfs. I look around desperatly for a weapon or something I can use to defend myself with.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

My monster bounds around the corner just as your slipping into the shop. He and I have lost sight of you. I hop down to think. Hippy squeals with rage and smashes in the front of one of the shops.

"Hold up, Hop!" I say, raising my hands to calm the beast. "That's a waste of perfectly good real estate." The rabbit looks at me, head tilted in confusion. "*Sigh*, I forgot that your 2 minuets old. Look, you could smash every building on this street. But then, we would never know if we got him. No, this situation calls for a bit of finesse."

A raise my hands above my head and pop three more rabbits up into the sky. As they fall back to earth, I give each a good rapt with my fists. As they hit the ground their body's are  already beginning to change. Body twisting, limbs lengthening, claws and teeth sharpening. In your shop you can hear the horrid screeching of rabbits in pain. Soon, three rabbit men stand before me, thin and vicious, their long claws and enlarged teeth gleaming in the midday sun.

"Your prey is hiding in one of these shops. Find him, and kill him. Extra carrots to the one who brings me his head!"

They scatter, their movements sharp and fast,  each choosing a different shop. None of them, however, are yours. You have time to do whatever you had planed.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

As I scramble through the contents of the shelfs a glint a metal cathes my eye.

"That'll work..." I whisper to myself as I grab a large knife. I slip the knife into my belt and begin searching for more supplies. If I'm going to beat this guy and his evil rabbit minions I'm going to have to find the means to kill those things.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

Suddenly, a rabbit-man bursts from one of the storefronts, ripping and tearing at something human shaped. It bites and claws in a savage frenzy, tearing the poor defenseless mannikin to pieces. I sigh again, and walk over. Picking up the mannikins arm, I rapt the rabbit over the head to get it's attention.

"No, wrong thing you idiot!" I say as the rabbit shrinks back. "The thing you hunting BLEEDS! Now, search another one. Eni, mini, mynee, that one!" I say, indicating your shop with the arm. The rabbit obediently sets off. I make my way back to Hop, who seems to be taking advantage of the peace to catch a few z's.

"Maybe rabbits aren't the best minions, but it doesn't matter. He can't outrun The Black Rabbit of Inlé forever."

[Marvelous Miscreant]

As the rabbit minnon stalks the aisles of the store it suddenly hear a small noise. It looks up to see the selfs collapsing forward onto it. I ride the shelf straight down onto the rabbit, crushing it. I leap of the broken shelf and sprint to the store front.

"Hey, looking for something..."

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

What a fool.
"You've singed your death warrant, elil. Hop, Kill! Hop?" The big rabbit is still asleep. I hit him with the arm, and he still dose not awaken, his stone skin keeping him from feeling the blow. Angrily I clime up and start to wrench his eye open. As I do this, my other to rabbit men explode out of their storefronts, alerted by the death cry of a comrade. The snarl and yelp and charge right for you.

"Good", I think, "Even without Hop my boys will be playing Bob-Stones with his internals before nightfall."

[Marvelous Miscreant]

As the rabid rabbits bear down on me, I back up and draw my knife. "Crap, I didn't think this through all the way." Fear paralyzes me and clouds my mind. As the rabbits draw even closer to me, my power activates. The rabbits are suddenly drawn to the possiblitiy of dying. While they are cursed I Swing my blade upwards into the first ones throat, slicing the into it's flesh.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

I look up to see one of my rabbits literally throw it's neck onto your knife. It's death wail is gurgled and bloody, but it's brother is already upon you, and strikes out.

I begin stomping on Hops face. He is beginning to rouse.

"Embleer Frith, Embleer Frith, Embleer Frith!"

[Marvelous Miscreant]

As the second rabbit tackles me, I spin to the right causing me to land on top of the snarling beast. I reach behind my back and pull out a long pole I detached from a broom. I bring the pole down on the beast's skull then slash it in the chest.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

Hop wakes groggily, and slowly. But him getting to his feet is like a mountain standing up. I jump of his head, and turn to face you just as you dispatch my last minion.

"Well,well, what an interesting power you seem to have. Let me guess, every time you enter a state of tharn, one of my Owsla  is compelled to die? But I wonder how you little weapons will fair against Hop?"

I point to you and give the command,"zorn," and off Hop goes, looking to crush you.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

I sprint back into the store and duck between the shelfs. I quickly weave through the maze of shelfs to the back of the store where I am prepared to make my stand.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

Hop smashes his way into the store front and begins rampaging around, destroying everything in his path.

I circle abound to the back of the shop, a bunny already in hand.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

As Hop reaches the back of the store I confront it. A gas tank hangs from a rope next to me. Duct tapped to it are hundreds of nails. I shove the tank towards Hop and it swings on the rope and smals into Hop's mouth. I raise a small nail gun I found and fire a nail into the gas tank in Hop's mouth, setting it off. Nails fly everywhere as the tank detonates.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

I hear the explosion and decide that enough is enough. I throw the bunny into the brick wall beside me, mutating it into a brickier version of hop. The large rabbit fills nearly the entire alleyway. As I squeeze past, I leave my orders to it: If anyone tries to come out the back, kill them. My trap primed, I head quickly back abound front.

What I see through the enormous hole in the building is that the store is in tatters. Shelves lay smashes, products crushed, some things are on fire. In the middles of the destruction lies hop, His head blown nearly completely off. Standing near him, is you.

"Silflay hraka, u embleer rah!" With that I raise up my hands, and suddenly the empty streets reel with the sound of many soft *Pops*, as a stream of bunnies fly from my hands into the store. They hit metal shelves, hop, you, walls, other rabbits, they all begin to mutate, and I don't show any signs of stopping the wave.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

I point my nail gun at you and fire.