New Beginning 23: One for the Record Books

[Marvelous Miscreant]

"I shall begin preparations for our celebration immediately"

With a less than subtle explosion of colored smoke, I teleport back to Kethencia to alert KARMA and the Guardians to begin the preparations.

[Tsubasa & Wen Tien]

I begin sipping tea as I wait for the preparations to finish, an unfinished katana blade waiting at my feet.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

A few moments later, several over ostentatiously prepared invitations exploded into existence with a spray of colorful confetti and glitter in front of everyone.

"You're Invited to the first ever Kethencian Blockbuster Party!"

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

The young man tentatively reached out and took the invitation out of the air, wondering why anyone would ever invite him to a party. Maybe this was some sort of mistake?

No, there it was. "To: Vault," right at then bottom. His old internet handle. Even if there had been some mistake, a block party would have food. And after all the chaos and confusion of the robot invasion he kind of wanted food. Not needed, mind. He hadn't needed food in a long time, but by god he wanted some right now.

He flipped the invitation over. "So, this thing come with direction or...?"

[Marvelous Miscreant]

The invitations, once read, begin to shudder and flutter into the air. After floating for a moment they expand into large door frames, filled with swirling colors and patterns. A portal.

Once through the portals, the guests are assaulted with thunderous, celebratory music, bright, vibrant decorations and succelent scents of food and drink.

"Welcome Everyone...TO KETHENCIA!" calls The marvelous Miscreant from his position atop one of the many tall building that enclosed the massive city square that held the party. Every building was adorned with bright, shifting lights and paper decorations that seemed to move of their own accord.

Everywhere, the native Kethencians (clockwork beings of brass, copper and iron) scurried back and forth, welcoming guests, handing out food and generally making merry.

[The Narrator]

Areson:  Oh.... can I have one of these beings to play with and call my own?

Can't we be sent away now?

Narrator:  Yes, you two need to reevaluate the mental jail, we know the Warners are out, but ensure others didn't leave...

With a flick of his hands, Narrator returned Areson and his logic back to his mind.

Narrator:SO, let's get this party bumping!

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

"Airi, comment."

"Comment," rung the little electronic voice in his head.

"I've been handed what looks like a glass of honey by one of the...Kethencians?" Vault said, walking around the busy plaza and observing all the legitimate guests going about their business, having fun, laughing, eating, while they were attended two by this worlds natives. "I don't know what they're called. The warforged looking guys. I'm now imbibing the liquid."

Truth be told he was a little flustered over the fact that, yes, he was on another world. He had no idea why he'd stepped through the portal, other than the fact that he still didn't have power because of a damn robot invasion and the boredom was literally killing him. Literally, because he had long ago swapped out his need to eat with his want of entertainment using one of his weird freaky power.

He swished the liquid around in his mouth and swallowed. "Tastes like carbonated honey with just a hint of strawberry. The Food in this place is practically divine. End Comment. Post."

"Post Successful." chirped the little electric voice. He was so glad he still had an internet connection here. Seeing a group of three of the clockwork automatons walking past he took three steps back and said. "Airi, photo."

There was a little shutter snap inside his head. "Airi, post photo."

"Post Successful."

"Excuse me sir, who are you speaking with?" Came a curious little voice from behind him. Vault turned around to see a kid he had almost walked right into while trying to get the Kethencians in the shot. A short kid, maybe human maybe not, definitely flesh though you could only really tell from his mouth. Everything else was covered up by a hooded black robe and a birdlike red mask that obscured the top half of his face.

Vault reoriented himself to face the kid and decided to shoot straight with him. He grinned and replied. "The voice in my head."

Instead of being weirded out the kid only went "ah" and nodded sagely, as though he understood exactly what Vault was talking about. "Yours must be very well trained."

Not the reaction Vault had been expecting, so he decided to go one better. "Also, I'm not from around here. You see, I'm from another world."

"Oh, so am I sir. What's it like?"

"What, are you a guest to?" Vault asked, the wind now taken completely out of his sails.

"Oh no sir." The boy replied quickly. "I'm..." He leaned forward, and said in a conspiratorial whisper. "I'm gatecrashing."

Vault though about it for a minute, then smiled and said back in the same conspiratorial whisper. "So am I."

He gasped. "I don't believe it. This is so strange, far to strange to be mere chance." He said excitedly. "This may be a sign of something. May we talk a little more Mr...?"

He started to give out his real name, but decided against it. After all, it woul'nt do to go giving your name away willy nilly in strange worlds, or even in his home one for that matter. Oh well, he was already going by his internet handle here anyway. "Gentleman Vaultboy." he said.

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Vaultboy." The boy said, bowing slightly. "You can call me...Knight." he said, after pausing to think about it. "This way, we'll talk while we eat." He said, walking toward a table laden with food.

Vault watched him go for a few moments. Two off-worlders who both had voices in their heads, gatecrashing the same party under fake names. Normally a group of coincidences that close together would send with spinning 180 degrees and walking in the other direction. Normally. If it wasn't for the fact that that Knight kid felt so familiar he would be gone.

"Wait up." he called after him, jogging to catch up. The kid walked fast.

[Zaleramancer]

"HEY!"

A girl bounded up from the crowd and landed on the table, mercifully missing a tray of small cakes by an inch. The impact of her over-sized boots made cutlery rattle. She was probably not a Kethencians as she seemed to not be mineral based- though her hair, which was styled in a mohawk and every color known to man (And several known only to cuttlefish), did raise some doubt.

"Hey oldbuddyoldpalold-" She beamed at Vault, "OldIiiiii don't know you do I." She paused for reflection. "Nope. Don't know why you looked so familiar. Maybe one of the other me's knows you."

She stared at both the young men, a fact aided by the way her green eyes seemed to glow like something radioactive.

"Hi. My name is utterly unpronounceable to the human tongue, so you can call me Harriet! Nice solid name there. Harriet Sub-Adjunct. The third." She smiled with pride, while a nearby Kethencian began to give her reproachful looks for putting smudges on the table cloth.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

"Hairiest?" came a gruff reply, "Hairiest? Who claims to be the hairiest? Surely, whomever speaks, is not hairier than I!"

A bit startled by the outburst, the crowd parted ways, to see who had spoken. Bodies of party-goers set aside, the source of the voice was plain; a tall sturdy being, likely humanoid, with piercing blue eyes. And every inch of its body from head to toe was covered in shaggy, white hair.

The voice continued, shuffling forward in a huff, and stopped to look at the being who stood upon the table before them, "Was it you? Was it you who claimed to be hairier than Pilosthenes, the Lord High Dominus of the Dasyarch Dynasty? Speak now, young one! I demand satisfaction!"

At the very thought of the girl's insolence, every hair on the body of the Lord High Dominus of the Dasyarch Dynasty began twitch, slither, and at last extended out, writhing across his form like so many tentacles of a young Kraken awaiting prey.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

"Actually, Mr. Pilosthenes" Said Knight, in his most placative voice, "what she actually said was..."

"That it doesn't matter if you're the hairiest in the world if there's no pizzas in it." Interrupts Vault. Knight turns on his quizzically, but Vaults voice was already dolling out what his mind had concocted. It was called stratigo, a superhuman inference of proper strategy. The very first of this random mishmash he'd be granted all that time ago and by far one of the most useful.

"And I'm sorry to say that there is merit in that sort of argument. After all, look at her hair. Look at those colors, look at the sheen. The sheer force of personality invoked by that hair-due, it's practically art. It's transcended normal hair, become a statement."

He got up and walked around the large hairy creature. "That is not to say, however, that it is always superior to amount. Why, the man who said that quality is worth more than quantity had obviously never gone hungry a day in his life. And it's clear, looking this closely, that you take great pride and care in growing your coat. Yes, you're right to have pride in it."

He spins, facing the pair of them. "Now I'm so torn. I'm all twisted up inside, seeing you two side by side, you two paragons. Which of you is truly superior in terms of hair? This is going to eat me up if I don't have an answer. I propose a contest!"

At this a cheer goes up from the other guests, exited at the prospect of any sort of competition.

Knight just looked at him strangely, but Vault had learned long ago how to deal with crazy situations. You didn't run away and hide, burying your head in the ground and waiting until the insanity ended, you hopped onto the crazy train at crazy station, fought your way through the crazy cars, killed the crazy conductor, and drove the crazy train right off the crazy rails to whatever crazy destination you wanted.

 It was the only way to stay sane.

[Tsubasa & Wen Tien]

"Now what's this I hear about a contest?"

The crowd parts once more as a striking Asian woman walks forward, wearing not much more than a black tank top and a pair of jeans (why do I keep using random generators for clothing?). At her left shoulder was a strap attached to a katana's sheath.

She continues as she walks towards the table, "I don't know about you all, but contests are always more interesting if it includes a chance of death for either side. Capiche? Ah, let me introduce myself, I'm Kitamura Mai."

[Celadon's Penultimate]

The Dasyarch Dignitary turned, a bit startled, to face the new arrival. His glance shot back and forth between she and the others who'd engaged him. Though, a second allowed to process the proposition, his feelings became less defensive.

"A contest?" Lord Pilosthenes sputtered, "A contest, you say? Why, it has been far too long since I've last engaged my 'do in a duel. If your terms be fair, I would be most honored to rally my mane and trounce any one of you into the dust!"

At the thought of taking on such worthy-looking rivals, he straightened the hair atop his head, patted off the hair across the rest of his body, and crossed his arms, awaiting whatever response might come.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

Vault looks at the new girl, looks back at the hairy man, then looks at the girl still standing on the table. "Well well well, look like we have ourselves a hair off! HAIR OFF!!!!! He screams, turning around to the guests and raising his fists in the air and they go crazy. They might not know what he means, but you just can't help but get charged up by five exclamation points. He spins back around, saying quickly to the three of them. "The last one standing with a head of thick, luxurious hair is the winner. How you go about getting it off them is your own business."


With that, he beats feet into the ring of guests surrounding the three of them. The area around the buffet table had completely cleared out during the conversation. "With the title of Perfect Hair Forever on the line, let's rock!" he says, chopping the air i one of he universal signals of "GO."

It isn't long before Knight finds him. "I don't understand, did you just instigate a duel?"

"I sure hope so." Vault replies.

"Why?"

"Because the world is insane, and the most important thing to remember about fights is to make sure you aren't caught up in them. Airi, record." he replies, turning and watching the three of them.

"Recording..."

[Tsubasa & Wen Tien]

"I think this'll be most interesting."

Mai smiles widely before beginning to circle around to the others' blindspots with her hand on the katana's hilt. She'd first be aiming for the hair on the Dignitary's arm.

(Note: Right now, Mai is using triangular footwork that is associated with Taekwondo. And yes, she's using an unarmed style's footwork with a weapon-based style's arm movements)

[Celadon's Penultimate]

The exultant cheering of the crowd seems to bristle through Pilosthenes' full-body mane like electricity. And that electricity did far more to make his hair stand on end, than any wimpy static cling. The dignitary crouched low into a defensive stance (for he'd been taught well in The Way of the Hairy Hand), and his locks rose, like a den of angry, insidious vipers.

With a strike that seemed graceful and precise, unfitting his strapping 6'4 frame, he shot his right hand forward. His man-tresses obeyed the gesture without a second's delay, lunging out to grapple the challenger, Harriet.

Hopefully, a simple riposte motion, to raise a hairy barrier on his side, would be enough to fend off Mai's aggression for now.

[Zaleramancer]

"This. Is. Epic."

Harriet smiled as her hair suddenly exploded into a roaring multicolored bonfire, which caused several Ooooos and a few Ahhhs out of the crowd.

Fire snaked down her neck and wrapped around her arms. The girl brought her hands together as she screamed, "HADOKEN!".

A green-pink fireball went screeching through the air at Pilosthenes.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

"Oh, fire, indeed!" Pilosthenes huffed, a bit startled, and a bit annoyed at the sight.

His foremost locks singed by the attack, it was obviously time to move onto another maneuver. Dodging behind a pillar to avoid the fiery blast, he retracted his hair, and discarded the old burnt ends with a whim. As newgrowth took its place, the Dignitary was quick to plant four thick tendril tresses onto the ground. They would bear his weight quite nicely, and hoist him up, twenty feet into the air, like stilts.

It would be much more difficult to catch him off guard from this vantage point, Pilosthenes thought, as yet more tentacles sprouted from his hair. Hoping not to give Harriet too much more time to make her next move, he rubbed his hands together, and all through his scalp. His eyes now aglow, the psychic energy emanating from his head combined with static electricity he'd built up, went in an instant, from a mere zap to a hateful electrical volley, about the size of a basketball.

There was not a second to lose. Pilosthenes hurled the thunderball as though his life depended on it.

Or, at least, his honor.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

The Marvelous Miscreant watches the contest below from his spot atop one of the many buildings surrounding the square. He smiles. Parties like this tended to get out of hand fast. It was a comfort knowing that things like that never changed.

Marv snaps back from his daydreaming and leans back.

"You know, you could go down and join them..." He muses, seemingly to himself as no other person was atop the roof with him. The only other thing up there was a small green sprout that had rooted itself between the shingles.

The sprout wiggled and made a noise almost like a stubborn "hmmph" before settling lower to the roof.

"Oh, come on now. It'll be good for you interacting with people other than me or KARMA. Besides, I'll bet that insatiable curiosity of yours is dying to know more about them."

The sprout sighs and starts to uproot itself, growing larger and blooming into a small creature.

"But I...I wouldn't know what to do...or to say....or..." The creature mumbles despite lacking a visible mouth.

Marv rolls his eyes, "We both know that you know exactly what to say. Just be yourself and ask them a question or too. For being so curious you really must learn to be more social. Now c'mon, join the party. It'll be fun."

The creature takes a deep breath and mumbles something like "Alright". With a few quick extensions of it's roots the being makes it's way down the building and plops itself down just outside the ring of people gathered to watch the "Hair-Off". It looked around cautiously before slowly making its way closer, weaving between the legs of the onlookers.

"OH..." it gasped as the sight of the "combatants" met it's eyes.



(Those who follow me on DeviantART may recognize this fella. I had planned for them to be an addition to my characters and now seems like a fitting time seeing as everyone else is taking a quick leave of their traditional characters.)

[Tsubasa & Wen Tien]

As Philosthenes unleashed his thunderball, Mai ran towards his legs of hair and began to swing her katana in a movement reminiscent of iaijutsu. It would be interesting to see what happened considering what happened when it was burnt.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

"My word, she's running right up that pillar." Comes a voice to the plant things right, from a boy cloaked in black, blond little tresses of hair visible between his hood and mask.

"Yawn." Replies his companion, seemingly a normal human being with the exception of the big floppy cow ears emerging from his shock of brown hair.

"It's an amazing feat, Mr. Vaultboy. It's rude to be so dismissive."

"Please, wall running is pretty standard."

"Can you run up walls?"

"Well....no. I can't open pickle jars either, but does that mean I should be awed when I see someone else do it?"

"I suppose that makes a bit of sense in a really joyless way."