Game: Randomizer Wars!

[Marvelous Miscreant]

I doubt you would have a backpack of toys.

[jester_of_god]

If somone had that power they might.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

But this isn't a best case scenario fight. You play what you're dealt.

[jester_of_god]

Fair enough, in that case i might have to fight cheap.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

(I assumed we were fighting in a field surrounded by a forest, since you said you caught the souls of a field mouse and a fox. I also assumed that we were both close enough to see one another because it was a field. Is that all right?)

I see the small twig soldiers approaching to carve up my ankles and shins and spray the ground in front of the approaching army. It is as though they are swept away in a title wave. I assume that they are destroyed because twigs aren't known for being very sturdy. Though I remind myself to keep watch for that action figure. Those are built to be smacked together and I can't assume he's out of the fight yet.

Seeing as how my "Hose him down" strategy isn't working I pick up several rocks at my feet. Sticking them one at a time into my mouth,I fire off 4 high velocity ball of conditioner at you, each with a crunchy rock center.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

(He can have a pack of toys if he wants. If his power involves dolls then it makes sense for him to have some at all times.)

[Marvelous Miscreant]

Jester playing with dolls....

[Zaleramancer]

I'm totally not snickering.

Nope not at all.

[jester_of_god]

Just wait. "Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap." I'm dodging a barray of rocks trying to make my way to the edge of the forrest, clutching the wad of hair conditioner with my actiion figure struggling inside. I'm seconds away when a rock colides with my side, bruising a rib and knocking me off ballanc. "Tha't's it enough of this." I glance at a bird soul from the corner of my eye just before grabbing it and thrusting it into a doll of a bat and release it. Just before throwing the action figure into the treeline, and making a break for it into the forest.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

Oh, I do not want to follow him into the wood. His little soldiers could attack from any direction or set up traps. No way. Following the enemy into the woods was how we lost Vietnam. Not gonna happen. No way am I going to let him stick me in a toy Hanoi pit of hell. I will not be a POW to a bunch of G.I.Joe's.

I see the bat doll flapping towards me and shower it with conditioner spitballs. Once it's to heavy to fly I take a one of the larger rocks and smash the poor thing.

On the other hand he could be in there sculpting a huge doll out of mud so he can stick a bear in it and send it after me.
 I weigh my options
*Sigh* "Damn it all."

I grab up another dozen rocks off the ground and give chase into the forest.
 

[jester_of_god]

(Heh, your pretty good.)

"Short spirit, tall spirit, red spirit, blue spirit, That should be enough to by me some time."  I look down at the small army of mud men, and leaf dolls made with an uncountable number of insect souls. "Beta squadron, spread out and into the trees grab anything you can find and use it as a weapon., Alpha squadron, your with me, Gamma unit, I need you to go out and kill as many small animals as possilble, bring me back there bodies." Out of the corner of my eye I catch a group of small trees that were knocked over during a storm, a few tangled vines", and a small grou of rocks. "...Yep that should just about do it."

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

As I pass into the tree line the action figure leaps down at me from the branches. I shift out of the way so that it hits the ground instead then stomp it until I'm sure it can't move anymore. After dealing with him I continue my pursuit. Luckily for me, you seem to have left a trail of hair conditioner. Not a lot, but the small marks of white on bushes and trees stands out well against the prevailing greens and browns of the woods.

After following this trail through a large patch of bushes I notice a peculiar amount of leaves seem to have attached themselves to my shirt. Then one on my shoulder stands up and slashes my face with its tiny stone dagger, leaving a red cut on my cheek, and I realize that these aren't leaves, but dolls! Camouflaged! Like The Vietcong. As I am having all of my fears realized the other dolls begin to stab and slash, tearing my shirt and leaving nick and cuts all over my upper body. As this is happening mud dolls emerge from the underbrush armed with spears and begin shaking me in the legs. I try to brush the leaf dolls off, but more are dropping down from above, flouting slowly and silently onto my shoulders, and back. In desperation I close my eyes and blast a stream of conditioner straight up, letting it splash down over me. I can feel the cascade wash the dolls of of me, but the pain of their knives and spears is replaces by a burning all over my body as the conditioner gets into my wounds. Blind and determinate to make sure none of these dolls survive I blast the ground all around my feet.

When I do not feel the sting of their weapons again I roll up my sleeve and wipe my eyes. The conditioner burns in them but I'm able to get a good view of the aftermath. The dolls lie broken in heaps at my feet and the surge of pride I feel is immediately squelched as I realize what I've done. The wood around me are now a milky white. Any trail the jester had left was now completely destroyed.

I stand there for a moment, cut all over, covered in a layer of hair care product, then let out a scream of incoherent rage that seems to silence the whole of the forest. Or most of it anyway. There seemed to be a commotion behind those trees. I sneak up quietly, still eager for revenge against any dolls. As I peak out from behind the tree an unusual sight greets me. 2 mud men struggling to pull a slain red fox. They see me and I prepare to hose them down, but they just go back to tugging at the fox. I wonder why they don't attack or flee and realize, covered as I am in white goop, they think me some large ,white, mud doll.

Well, they were trying to take that fox somewhere and I wasn't about to let this guy weave a flesh golem. I walk over and pick it up for them. They look up at me, and then disappear into the den. They come out carrying 2 smaller foxes and start moving away. I slip a rock into my mouth and follow.

( If I don't post for a few days it's not because I've forgotten the fight. It means this hurricane has taken out he power or phone line.)

[jester_of_god]

"Finally those years in the boyscouts helped with something." I say tightening an X knot on one of my creations limbs. That should just about do it now just to finish up the...." I hear a rustling in the bushes behind me and spin around with stone in hand, as my small guard of dolls. But it's only a small group of mudmen carryinga squirrel on their backs. "Oh it's just you guys." I relax and pick kneel down to pick up the squirrel carcass. With their burden gone the mud men salute and stomp back into the woods. I look down at the dead squireel and feel a twinge of guilt. "Sorry about this little guy, but it has to be done." I gut it with a sharpened rock, and clean out husk, stuffing it with a combination of dirt, leaves and rocks, before sealing it up with a needle and thread I keep in my pocket for repairs. I pluck the squirrel's spirit out of the air, and place it back into it's own body, animating the doll. It opens it's eyes, blinks and leaps to the ground, adding to the small contengent of animal dolls, an owl, a small fox, a badger, and a stoat. I wave them away to stalk through the forest in opposite directions. "That should do for the moment, now to get back to work." I turn back towards the half finished mannequin like construct and get back to work.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

We emerge from the bushes into what seems like a fairy tale workshop. Little wooden people, little mud men, grotesque little makeshift animals and at the very center of it all, him working on something. The dolls do not notice me even as I slip the one of the rocks into my mouth. After all, I'm one of them, just another doll bringing a fox skin to be stitched up into some bizarre parody of life.  

Except I'm not a doll anymore because I've dropped the fox, and I've spit the rock at and am now charging toward their creator, looking to wrap my hands around any part of him. If they could vocalize I'm sure they would be screaming as they rush to block my path but their legs are to stubby to keep up. Without the element of surprise I bound over their attempts to impede me and reach out my arms to grasp the grim Santa at their center.<quote author="jester_of_god">

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

[jester_of_god]

"Of course he's already here. just great. Dolls CONVERGE!!!!" Out o the sky flys an owl with claws outstretched towards you as the rest of the animals run into the small clearing converging on your locations. "Got to make this fast." With the last finishing touches put on my creation I grab a bear spirit from the air and drag it into the New doll. A mannequin constructed from several dead sapplings rises from the ground to a height of six feet, at the end of it's arms and legss ass well as each of it's joints are tones bound together with vine. The manneqquin rears back as if roaring before charging towards you with a right hook.

I rip a piece of cloth from my shirt, wrap it over my eyes, and place a small mudman on top of my head to give me the right direction. Clutching my rock in one hand I initiate the attack sequence. "Let's end this."

[jester_of_god]

If you posted twice, click under more, and then delete message.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

(thank you)
The owl takes the rock meant for you, literally having the stuffing knocked out of it. The rest of your animals charge together. I aim at the ground beneath my running feet and let loose a torrent as powerful as a fire hose. The force is sufficient to launch me over the strange menagerie. Your Bush-Bear, more alert than the rest, rears up on it's hind legs and just misses disemboweling me.
I hit the ground with a roll and keep toward you. If I stop that big doll will tear me to pieces. I put a rock in my mouth and fire  not at you, but the mud man on your head. The product powered stone shears him in half just as I reach you and grasp your arm.

[jester_of_god]

Fealing the mudman get blown off my head I quickly realize what's happening and try to shrug off the blindfold, but not quickly enough, for I feel something grab my arm. I swing the rock forward judging where the head would be if it was a human, but unfortunately the movement coupled with the Hair conditioner on the ground, causes me too lose my balance and drag both of us to the ground with the dolls still converging upon your location.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

I am facing the ground. Perfect. I pull the same trick as before, except this time I have no forward momentum. This time I'm going strait up,and I won't be going alone. A great mass of conditioner spreads out on the ground as we ascend. I see some of the smaller "animals" get swept away just before we burst through the tree-line. The branches scratch and hurt but soon we're out of the dark forest and flying in the sunshine.

I stop my jet and look at you, wondering just what you must think is happening being blind and all. As we start our trip back earthward I hose you down, covering you in a thick layer of hair conditioner until no bit of you can be seen beneath the white gel.

I manage to grab a branch as we hit the treeline but you fall down into the midst of your minions, looking very much like the man you just ordered your creatures to kill.