Superpower List Forum › Internet Awesomeness! › Internet Awesomeness! Archive

Comedy Awesomeness!

classic Classic list List threaded Threaded
♦
♦
 Locked 982 messages Options
12345 ... 50
Celadon's Penultimate
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Celadon's Penultimate
Administrator

Top joke in Germany:


A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.

The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That's it.”
“…Judge not what a man has done, but judge what he could have done if he was a different bloke altogether. For art thou a leper? And a leper can changeth his spots…”   --Rudy Wade, Misfits (Series 4, Episode 8)
Celadon's Penultimate
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Celadon's Penultimate
Administrator
In reply to this post by Zaleramancer
This is the reputedly the top joke in the UK.
“…Judge not what a man has done, but judge what he could have done if he was a different bloke altogether. For art thou a leper? And a leper can changeth his spots…”   --Rudy Wade, Misfits (Series 4, Episode 8)
Celadon's Penultimate
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Celadon's Penultimate
Administrator
In reply to this post by Celadon's Penultimate

Top joke in England:


Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”

The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”
“…Judge not what a man has done, but judge what he could have done if he was a different bloke altogether. For art thou a leper? And a leper can changeth his spots…”   --Rudy Wade, Misfits (Series 4, Episode 8)
Celadon's Penultimate
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Celadon's Penultimate
Administrator

Top joke in Wales:


A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.

The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied “I don't know, it all happened so fast.”
“…Judge not what a man has done, but judge what he could have done if he was a different bloke altogether. For art thou a leper? And a leper can changeth his spots…”   --Rudy Wade, Misfits (Series 4, Episode 8)
Celadon's Penultimate
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Celadon's Penultimate
Administrator

Top joke in Northern Ireland:


A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.

“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.

The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”

“That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”

The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”  
“…Judge not what a man has done, but judge what he could have done if he was a different bloke altogether. For art thou a leper? And a leper can changeth his spots…”   --Rudy Wade, Misfits (Series 4, Episode 8)
Zaleramancer
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Zaleramancer
Administrator


Sir Bearington is such a refined and noble soul.
“She'd become a governess. It was one of the few jobs a known lady could do. And she'd taken to it well. She'd sworn that if she did indeed ever find herself dancing on rooftops with chimney sweeps she'd beat herself to death with her own umbrella.”
― Hogfather
Celadon's Penultimate
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Celadon's Penultimate
Administrator
 Wow...
“…Judge not what a man has done, but judge what he could have done if he was a different bloke altogether. For art thou a leper? And a leper can changeth his spots…”   --Rudy Wade, Misfits (Series 4, Episode 8)
Zaleramancer
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Zaleramancer
Administrator
There are sillier things.

Like the Jumplomancer!
“She'd become a governess. It was one of the few jobs a known lady could do. And she'd taken to it well. She'd sworn that if she did indeed ever find herself dancing on rooftops with chimney sweeps she'd beat herself to death with her own umbrella.”
― Hogfather
Celadon's Penultimate
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Celadon's Penultimate
Administrator
I...

A part of me wants to know what it is.

A more rational part of me does not.

....

Well, whaddya waiting for? Tell me, already!
“…Judge not what a man has done, but judge what he could have done if he was a different bloke altogether. For art thou a leper? And a leper can changeth his spots…”   --Rudy Wade, Misfits (Series 4, Episode 8)
Zaleramancer
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Zaleramancer
Administrator
First you must understand how the Diplomacy!

It basically lets you talk people into liking you.

A person who specializes in abusing this is called a "Diplomancer"

Jumplomancer (I think that's how it's spelled) is a variant in which you somehow use Jump instead of Diplomacy as the skill to cause people to like you.

tl;dr?

You make people like you by jumping really well.
“She'd become a governess. It was one of the few jobs a known lady could do. And she'd taken to it well. She'd sworn that if she did indeed ever find herself dancing on rooftops with chimney sweeps she'd beat herself to death with her own umbrella.”
― Hogfather
Celadon's Penultimate
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Celadon's Penultimate
Administrator


Jumplomancer:

*Looks over to friends on other side of Grand Canyon*

*Leaps across Grand Canyon to their side*

Other guy: Good show, old bean! Would you like to come home with us for supper?
“…Judge not what a man has done, but judge what he could have done if he was a different bloke altogether. For art thou a leper? And a leper can changeth his spots…”   --Rudy Wade, Misfits (Series 4, Episode 8)
Marvelous Miscreant
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Marvelous Miscreant
Administrator
In reply to this post by Zaleramancer
Makes sense....
Praise the Sun
Zaleramancer
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Zaleramancer
Administrator
“She'd become a governess. It was one of the few jobs a known lady could do. And she'd taken to it well. She'd sworn that if she did indeed ever find herself dancing on rooftops with chimney sweeps she'd beat herself to death with her own umbrella.”
― Hogfather
Zaleramancer
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Zaleramancer
Administrator
“She'd become a governess. It was one of the few jobs a known lady could do. And she'd taken to it well. She'd sworn that if she did indeed ever find herself dancing on rooftops with chimney sweeps she'd beat herself to death with her own umbrella.”
― Hogfather
Celadon's Penultimate
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Celadon's Penultimate
Administrator
In reply to this post by Zaleramancer
“…Judge not what a man has done, but judge what he could have done if he was a different bloke altogether. For art thou a leper? And a leper can changeth his spots…”   --Rudy Wade, Misfits (Series 4, Episode 8)
Celadon's Penultimate
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Celadon's Penultimate
Administrator
In reply to this post by Zaleramancer
 Cool.
“…Judge not what a man has done, but judge what he could have done if he was a different bloke altogether. For art thou a leper? And a leper can changeth his spots…”   --Rudy Wade, Misfits (Series 4, Episode 8)
Zaleramancer
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Zaleramancer
Administrator
“She'd become a governess. It was one of the few jobs a known lady could do. And she'd taken to it well. She'd sworn that if she did indeed ever find herself dancing on rooftops with chimney sweeps she'd beat herself to death with her own umbrella.”
― Hogfather
Celadon's Penultimate
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Celadon's Penultimate
Administrator
 Darth NINJA? Shogun Vader? OMLucas, that is a scary thought!
“…Judge not what a man has done, but judge what he could have done if he was a different bloke altogether. For art thou a leper? And a leper can changeth his spots…”   --Rudy Wade, Misfits (Series 4, Episode 8)
Philote
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Philote
Administrator
In reply to this post by Zaleramancer
Where did you find that / Is there more?
Romans 8:31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Whd
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
♦
♦
|

Re: Comedy Awesomeness!

Whd
Administrator
This post was updated on .
CONTENTS DELETED
The author has deleted this message.
12345 ... 50
Free forum by Nabble Edit this page