The RP Message Board Continued!

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

Geez, it has been a while. I really don't know where to start again, honestly. Okay, let me just try and recapture the appropriate mood here.

*Deep Breath*

YOU MANIACS! YOU GOD DAMN SOCIOPATHS, YOU RUINED IT! THE EARTH IS RUINED, GOD DAMN YOU! GOD DAMN YOU!

NEW BEGINNING RETROSPECTIVE PART 2: New Beginning (cont'd)

I'm going to be honest, not much really happens over the course of the first five pages. If the last thread ended with a whimper, this one begins with an uncomfortable clearing of the throat. At first, it's just office talk. Then there's cat ladies, giant malt balls, a enormous Zale fangirl, Penultimate and Boomqueefa (I can not get over that name) get married and then very quickly have a messy divorce where he slaps her with a divine restraining order that can't be gotten rid of by anyone but him, which just makes me wonder why the hell he didn't just use that on her in the first place. It's all just such nonsense that I have a hard time parsing it, which is why I'm going to ignore it all until it become relevant again and start from the point where WHD revives the thread.

It starts with Myself putting Mik in a room designed to contain "Rogue Reality Warpers" and then killing an immortal man just to see if he can. Then he teleports to a "major crime syndicate's major base" and literally juices them with telekinesis. He then ports to Wulf's big Celedon house to watch T.V.

Yep, there's the New Beginning action I've come to expect/dread.

Luckily, Mik escapes the room easily, either proving that he is exemplary or that Myself is incompetent. The rest of the Holy Trinity (Wulf and WHD, in case anyone forgot) show up in Wulfs T. V. Lounge moments later with popcorn and fizzy drinks to "watch the carnage." What Carnage? Why, that's just what Mik wants to know as he tries to port on over and join them.

Okay, so before he came to Celedon Myself set up a teleportation network that connected his home (where his family still is, apparently. Nepotism.), all his realms, Wulfs house, New Atlantis, "Other places on Celedon," and "other places on Earth," all connected to a central hub/fort realm. It also connects to an island with an alter on it, which gives someone the ability to alter reality at will. This ensures that "The army" (Myself's army?) will fight over it, causing much carnage and death to entertain Myself and his friends.

You think I'm exaggerating? That is it's stated purpose:

Myself wrote

You'll see, when I place an altar on an island in the middle of the ocean. This island is uninhabited, with a hidden teleporter on it.

This altar grants the power to alter reality at will (and immunity to said powers of others). This means it will be fought over by the army, studied and protected.

Meanwhile, we're all immune to the power granted by it, so we can safely watch the petty fights over it by the "normals" (people with powers granted by neogenetica).

He even made it so that it can't hurt anyone with "Real" god powers, in case the mere mortal that get's the alters power finds out about this manipulation and decides to get all uppity. Mik, seeing this, goes oh hell no and hits that alter with a meteor before anyone starts to fight over it, saving countless lives.

Wulf then reveals that Mik isn't even in the real Celedon palace, but an incredible illusion "where all known chaotic entities are automatically teleported when they think they're smart enough or powerful enough to just waltz into [his] territory."

They then get into a little slap fight over this,with Wulf giving THIS as the reason he doesn't want Mik around:

The Penultimate wrote

@second comment: You're not getting in. That's all there is to it. I have no idea why the heck you want to get in so bad ANYWAYS. There's nothing for you here, to be quite honest. No chaos on YOUR level. No DISCORD. And certainly no desire to stir up such. And when it DOES arise, I do my best to squash it. WHD, Myself and I are enjoyin' a nice peaceful day doing basically nothing. So...what business could you possibly have here that makes you want to get in so desperately?

Emphasis mine.

Then Myself decided he wants to research all the technology. All of it, ever. He basically conscripts a bunch of Celadonions, has them develop intelligence enhancing implants, shoves those into their heads, and has them mass produce teleporters, starships, replicator technology, and a planetary shield to pay Wulf for his citizens labor.  He makes no mentions of compensating the workers themselves. Then he expands the teleportation network to include:

Myself wrote

Now, I teleport to Marvelous Miscreant's desert city, leaving an inactive teleporter in my wake. Marvelous can choose if and when to activate this teleporter, granting access to the already-existing network. This network includes:
1) All conlonized worlds.
2) Many on Earth, including:
-My home (requires my permission).
-WHD's base (requires WHD's permission).
-New Atlantis (requires permission from neogenetica and/or Greenday).
-Shadowulf1's Earth bases.
3) Many on Celadon (which all require Shadowulf1's permission), including:
-Several towns.
-Shadowulf1's palace (requires it's own permission from Shadowulf1).
-Some other "useful" locations.
4) One in each realm, including:
-The "hub" realm.
-The "fantasy" realm.
-The "prison" realm.
-The "enjoyment" realm (I think most will get that, think "bunny outfits").
-The "utopia" realm, where all desires of it's occupants come true without need for any powers like reality warping. However, this cannot go against certain rules set by myself (although they aren't very restricting; enjoy) and Philote. This is Philote's realm, as I haven't fulfilled my promise from long ago, so you'll have to ask him for permission to enter.
-Phylactery realm/s: Hiding places for my phylacteries. You may enter them, but you cannot touch the phylacteries. This requires my permission.
5) The extra-dimensional room (in a realm, but in it's own classification). This needs permission from myself.

 Wait, Marv, what? Phi?

I feel as though I've missed something.

Then page ten rolls around and everyone remembers Miks Pyramid and decides to destroy it because, well, okay they actually have a good reason for that. Mik claims it will destroy the world. But, then again, Mik claims that he the demon form was a superpowered evil side and that all that did was save the world.

[Zaleramancer]

I had a fangirl?

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

Literally a giant one. Made of a bunch of smaller ones.

Mik did it.

She was also carnivorous.

[Zaleramancer]

Oh yeah, I remember her.

*Thumbs through employment files*

Still undergoing rehabilitation.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

Perhaps I can shed some light on why I was referenced in NB before I ever entered the thread.

My introduction to the concept of New Beginning actually happened over my participation in another thread called "Substitute Battle Arena" (its at the bottom of the archived RP threads) From what I recall, that thread was like NB fight club where people just duked it out with one another for laughs. It had the same rule set of using only powers on your profile. I entered it to test out my newly acquired powers.

over the course of the thread I built up Kethencia (at the time it was a small city in the desert). Around March 9th 2011, the thread ended and I was invited to join NB. Myself must have been preempting my entrance to NB because I think that post was around the same time.

Except I didn't actually join NB until  May 26, 2011 in "New beginning continued(again)"

[Zaleramancer]

I'm trying to remember what terrible, terrible things I've done.

[Philote]

I have a Utopia realm?

I guess I ran into Myself sometime when I was dimension hopping before I found the SPL.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 Considering you've done much of anything terrible at all. I think the most chaotic and frightening things were done by me, Myself, Jester, Neo and Greenday, Dryad and maybe a little bit of Marv.

By the way, GV, whenever you get around to finishing up this lovely summary of our initial exploits of New Beginning, I'm thinking of putting it all into a thread of its own, New Beginning Abridged. For folks who don't think they can stomach the actual chaos of New Beginning, AS IT HAPPENED.

[Philote]

Sorry for being busy lately and not posting for a bit. Is there anything I can jump in and post on to move things forward now? Things seem to have really slowed down again.

[Zaleramancer]

Sorry I've been kind of busy.

Also: Distracted.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

I've been in the mountains with my brothers, hunting ghosts all week.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 Coming from you, I'm not certain whether that was sincere or sarcastic.

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

Totally serious. My brother is doing his senior project on state folklore and old wives tales, so we were driving around the mountains over spring break interviewing people he'd contacted online and visiting supposedly haunted sites.

[Philote]

Did you catch any

[Marvelous Miscreant]

So my posting schedule has been erratic lately...

[Gentleman Vaultboy]

Not a one. My younger brother blames my "skeptic vibes." I was more scared of wild animals or vagrants than ghosts.


The only notable thing that happens on page eleven is that Rhiolo and Boomqueefa take over the Legion of Doom headquarters. They do so just as unceremoniously as the previous sentence. On page twelve Myself traps Mik in the playboy dimension, but he escapes this trap as easily as the last one. Then he....

jester_of_god wrote

 "In News today, in addition to the sudden appearance of super powered lunatics still causing mass mayhem on a global scale, apparently every Hippie, Vegetarian, Terrorist, Politician, and death row in mate in the Known world have disappeared. In other News a new island has been discovered in the center of the Pacific Ocean, which appears to be entirely inhabited by Sentient humanoid creatures who seem to obey all orders given in any language, but seem to be incapable of long periods of rational thought, several of which appear to periodically transform into random animals and objects, including, oddly enough, Beautiful women. More on this At eleven."

....
......
........

Really? Vegetarians and hippies on the same level and terrorists? What's the cut off age, does it grab everyone who was ever a hippie? What about small town politicians, people who just wanted to get involved with local government and make their town better? Mindwarping and transformation, what in gods name?

I can't. I Can't.

I Can't.

I feel so betrayed right now.

Oh, and they're conscious of what's happened to them, that's just perfect.

Betrayed and disappointed.

A mysterious person is spotted in Japan helping to clean up the devastation because everyone is still crazy and still murdering and blowing things up indiscriminately for some reason. Also, you know, all the diet members just vanished into thin air to become sexy girl mindslaves, so the people in charge of getting things under control are just gone. In fact, every country just lost all of it's national and local leaders, so I imagine they're all running around now like chickens with their heads cut off not knowing what to do. Except, I guess, Myself's mindslave utopian societies, but those people don't know what they're doing anyway. I'm not even sure they have leaders.

There's another thing: these last two posts are relaid to us in the format of news broadcast, and I'm wondering who it was that's still able to 1). get information this quickly with all the chaos and 2). care enough to put the information out there. It's not Myself (god knows those people don't need news) so I'm going to conclude it's some Japanese station for simplicities sake.

Mik then brings back the island of Atlantis "in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean." Quick, what's the problem here?

Times up! Something is already in the middle of the Atlantic; New Atlantis, the big horrible megacontinent. So let's just move Old Atlantis down here, a bit under New Atlantis. They have super advanced technology, but they're thankfully peaceful. Still, I can't help but think they're not too happy with this whole situation. "New Atlantis", who the hell are these guys with their awful poison surrounded country. And it's bigger too, innit it? And infested with weird bug person/werewolves. I'd be ticked off. That seems like the sort of thing that would weaken your brand.

For the hat-trick, Mik then spawn an ideal crystallization of Chuck Norris. This is the beginning of a hilarious series of events because A). The Chuck Norris joke flies over everybody's heads, and B). No fictional idealization can be cooler or more powerful than their fictional idealization.

It is then that Mik releases the 2.4 billion people he had trapped in marbles, hopefully clean and free of that awful bloodlust that seems to grip everyone who has superpowers. So there, this is where we get, finally a population that isn't crazy or mindslaved to someone. Taking bets on how long that's going to last.

Myself then creates a self replicating Alex Mercer, whom he tells to "Go nuts" in an enemy base underneath the water of New Atlantis. I am again not sure who the enemy is, because they haven't done anything. I mean, he says that they were trying to take New Atlantis over but you'd need a bit more than a single base to subjugate an entire continent. But, oh no, they replicate two much and escape onto New Atlantis. What a pickle, the place he says he was trying to save is now under attack by the very force he sent to save it. The place he's already attacked without provocation just because he didn't like it. By the army he says he could make stop at any time if he wanted to, but he just doesn't want to.

Myself did New Atlantis wake up sheeple. What else isn't he telling us?!

But wait, that's only 3/4ths of the Mercer army. Where's the res- oh. Ohhhhhhhhhh,

They're going for Chuck.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 And you're not even finished with the first thread.

Seriously, I wish I had the resources to turn this into a comic. We might very well be a competitor alongside Homestuck with our insane earlier shenanigans.

[Zaleramancer]

This is like the equivalent of someone telling you the stories of what you did while staggering drunk.

[Celadon's Penultimate]

 Indeed.

[Marvelous Miscreant]

The Penultimate wrote

 And you're not even finished with the first thread.

Seriously, I wish I had the resources to turn this into a comic. We might very well be a competitor alongside Homestuck with our insane earlier shenanigans.

Let's be honest here...if this were a comic it would make no sense. It would be like a darker, more vicious version of Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo.