Aw...there, there, Bug...all it takes is passion and patience. I believe you'll get there eventually.
And until then, you shouldn't be afraid to analyze the styles of others. Analyze what you like about their style, how it flows, how it develops, how it catches your interest, tricks it uses to convey a message (metaphors, similes, etc), etc.
Those things you can incorporate into your own work.
Plagiarizing is bad, obviously (the same as tracing pictures, as far as I'm concerned; only for the mentally mediocre), but it's not wrong to use references to improve yourself. That's what I've done for years, and it's done me wonders. Helped me improve my vocabulary and made me a much more effective writer (along with the fact that I write a lot on my spare time, and read a lot in my spare time--and my home dictionary is often on my list of favorite reads) .
“…Judge not what a man has done, but judge what he could have done if he was a different bloke altogether. For art thou a leper? And a leper can changeth his spots…” --Rudy Wade, Misfits (Series 4, Episode 8)