Fine. Then I arm the atmosphere with an external black hole.
No light escapes, and the gravitational integrity of the planet is still not compromised, due to my reality-bendy awesomeness.
“…Judge not what a man has done, but judge what he could have done if he was a different bloke altogether. For art thou a leper? And a leper can changeth his spots…” --Rudy Wade, Misfits (Series 4, Episode 8)