Because! Caffeine is supposed to wake you up in the morning. When you wake up. IN TEH MORNIN. Or teh afternoon.
And when it does, it should wake your body up and make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Not...reptilian and cold, like soda.
Wake up with uber-soda. Who DOES that?
“…Judge not what a man has done, but judge what he could have done if he was a different bloke altogether. For art thou a leper? And a leper can changeth his spots…” --Rudy Wade, Misfits (Series 4, Episode 8)